Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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okay,So we bought a 1000 piece puzzle and made a point to put it together when it was done we found that it was missing a piece so we went back to the same store bought the same puzzle and went through it until we found the missing piece then returned it.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I wait for something to load, I right click and then quickly try to drag a box around the right click box before it disappears. Then I try to right click and drag and see if I can outline the right click box before it appears.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.