after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

Get turned on lookin at my own butt

my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

okay,So we bought a 1000 piece puzzle and made a point to put it together when it was done we found that it was missing a piece so we went back to the same store bought the same puzzle and went through it until we found the missing piece then returned it.

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

I read the down voted posts

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.