Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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I really like taking shits.

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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Say "ow" when I drop something or before I get hurt

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Tried to suck ur own penis

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

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On an one night if I come too fast .je persuade the girl that I have to forget my cellular in my automobile and I get out

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.