I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.