Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

draw little triangles while coulouring in to make it seem that theres not so much work -jesse

Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

Being fat

When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.