I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.