I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Make funny fish faces and noises in the mirror just because... Oh yeah, and fish totally make noise, right?

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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I think about other women when having sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.