when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Pee in a glass and pour it down the sink, if someone is using the bathroom already.

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I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

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Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

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Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

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When I'm home alone, turning the TV on so it's not so quiet

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Every time i get a new video game i read the back of the case and the pamphlet the whole ride home

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When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I piss in the bed every night

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.