when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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Sometimes I stay as still as I can and stare at myself in the mirror until it scares me and I freak out about who I am and why I'm living. I have to think of my family and memories to snap out of it.

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I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

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Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Smell your hands to see if there dirty.

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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I scratch the scabs on my head whenever im bored

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I chew on anything plastic. I don't think there's a pen that I haven't chewed on or a plastic cap I haven't put in my mouth. It's a horrible habit but it feels so DAMN GOOD TO CHEW!

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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When you tell yourself that this is the last page you'll read and end up reading three more.

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Not doing any work Feel guilty about it Then still do no work

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.