Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Spinning around to get dizzy, then spinning the other way to try and undo it.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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Looking up 'How to tell if your crush likes you' to get assurance that he/she loves you

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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mindlessly touch my laptop or desktop PC's screen after having just used a tablet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.