When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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humiliating little girls

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

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Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.