worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Whenever I'm doing my makeup I pretend I'm doing a makeup tutorial on Youtube.

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.