Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

thumb_up thumb_down -73

stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Consider selling lots of books, games or DVDs when you have too many to fit perfectly on their shelf.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

thumb_up thumb_down -123

While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I Masturbate Daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I cover my webcam on my when I fap in fear that someone/something is watching.

thumb_up thumb_down +642

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

thumb_up thumb_down -135

chewing icecream before you swallow it

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -42

i smoke weed all day.

thumb_up thumb_down -310

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.