almost asleep and your body randomly jerks and scares you

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im going to rape that girl

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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When i wake up from a good dream, i close my eyes and imagine the ending in different ways.

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Not doing any work Feel guilty about it Then still do no work

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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I type things i really want to say to people and then delete them straight away because im too chicken to say it.

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hallo

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grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand

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I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

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I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.