Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

I chew around the center of carrots.

Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

I sleep in my underpants every single night

did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.