When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Never using a 0 or a 5 as the last digit while using a microwave.

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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I stare at the paint impasto on the ceiling until I see faces.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.