Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Watch the same movies over and over

When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.