DIY LOL
Anti Joke
I AM DISAPPOINT
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Passed Out Photos
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When im in a room alone on the computer i like to put on songs and lip sync to them in the mirror with really emotional expressions..
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-37
When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.
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-44
Consider selling lots of books, games or DVDs when you have too many to fit perfectly on their shelf.
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+59
Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.
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+6
I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.
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-28
Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.
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+3
take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O
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-22
Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.
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-45
Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.
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-44
Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.
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+29
Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.
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-42
Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.
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-44
Pretend i'm a sim.
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-23
twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound
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-37
Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.
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-10
When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.
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-7
(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.
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-43
When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge
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-23
Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.
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-50
I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)
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-66
pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner
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-52
Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.
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-13
I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.
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-148
Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins
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-135
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.