I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Find something you dislike about your face/body and instantly compare it with every person you meet from then on

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.