Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Watch the same movies over and over

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.