Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.