I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

I pretend that someone can see through my eyes whenever I'm doing something cool, i guess so they think I'm cooler or something.

when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

I think I have superpowers and sometimes I try to use them by force, like lifting a pencil with my mind or elevate from the ground.

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

Wishing you could go back in time and do a situation over again, becuase you regret the stuff you did.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.