when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Smell your hands to see if there dirty.

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Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Tear up when I poop

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wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

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Having small fingers and, regardless, still unable to click on the right thing when on the internet with a touch screen phone.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.