When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Your mom

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Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

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Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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I eat ass

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Pour a bowl of cereal. Open fridge. No milk. (karky)

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.