Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Courtesy flush.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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I was the real Stig...

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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Talk to my cat.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.