Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

thumb_up thumb_down +47

When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

I type a comment here and secretly feel special

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

thumb_up thumb_down +16

k. everyone

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

thumb_up thumb_down +29

even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -61

during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

thumb_up thumb_down -95

When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

thumb_up thumb_down -37

blow nose. look at kleenex.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.