When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

thumb_up thumb_down

Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I get photographed with a flash and afterwards there is that little greenish dot in my vision, I keep trying to look at it directly, although I know that it's impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

For some reason I really love to be hated on horsehead network, no idea why, stopped questioning it moments ago... Moral: Know what I mean?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.