When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

Imagine yourself and friends as band members while listening to songs.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.