try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I **** with no hands.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

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My parents are annoying.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.