try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

I really enjoy self-pity.

Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

only read the short jokes on this website

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

I **** with no hands.

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

My parents are annoying.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.