when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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sing in the shower

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

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always picture someone naked even though sometime you really don't want to.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Get that shiver when you're peeing.

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Be a loner at school

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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When eating skittles and share it with my friends, i gave them the flavors that i dont really like.

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Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.