when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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I hate being called "buddy".

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.