I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Running round the house like I'm Lara croft or someone from a video game :D it's fun

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When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

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I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.