pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

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Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

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Sometimes I wonder who created words. For instance, who thought to call a fence a fence? It could have been called something completely random like bucxbuw, but it would seem normal to us and fence would seem like jibberish instead.

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I cover my webcam on my when I fap in fear that someone/something is watching.

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Being from another country and always thinking in english.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.