Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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Fart at home

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

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Slate the game you playing but always go back for more...ie FIFA, Cod!!!

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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fap

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.