I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

Running round the house like I'm Lara croft or someone from a video game :D it's fun

When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.