don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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Pretend to listen to iPod, but actually eavesdrop on the people around me.

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Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.