Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

speak proper english

When I wanted to sit on chair or anything, I'll wipe them first, in case there is something sticked on them

I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.