forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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For the long meaningless comments below: I choose to decide to thumb the comments down and see them gone forever! Moral: Thats right, I spend less time on the webs, but here I am.

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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I'm really picky about how I earn money

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.