I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.

interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

Having small fingers and, regardless, still unable to click on the right thing when on the internet with a touch screen phone.

pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.