I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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i use dental dams

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.