Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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Rapidly click the mouse when your computer is frozen, even though you know it won't do anything to help whatsoever.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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Whenever you are in a quiet room and are trying to eat a food that is very loud to chew (like chips) you try to chew slowly or alter your chewing style so noone will think your too loud

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.