Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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I **** with no hands.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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My parents are annoying.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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Poop naked.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.