Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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speak proper english

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When I wanted to sit on chair or anything, I'll wipe them first, in case there is something sticked on them

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.