after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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Only use the left earphone.

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.