Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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When listening to awesome music I perform a subtle headbanging motion.. Then I look around to see if anybody is staring at me like I'm retarded.

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ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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Made after doomsday plans

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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Always think "what if ghosts really ARE everywhere?" when I'm naked in the shower, or getting dressed, or any other private and/or embarrassing moment. Then get really freaked out and picture 6 people from 1902 watching you.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.