you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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log off the internet then think of something and go back on

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I piss in the bed every night

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.