Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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i use my thumb when using a DS instead of using the stylus

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I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

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Sit there with my hand just resting down my pants casually when I'm alone. It's comfy!

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Consider selling lots of books, games or DVDs when you have too many to fit perfectly on their shelf.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.