brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

I have never watched Star Wars.

Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

Eat ice by itself

run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

My parents are annoying.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.