Lie in bed at night, imagining things I want to happen in my life while trying to fall asleep.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.