I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I can only play a piano with my right hand

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

For the long meaningless comments below: I choose to decide to thumb the comments down and see them gone forever! Moral: Thats right, I spend less time on the webs, but here I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I'm really picky about how I earn money

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

I Masturbate Daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

thumb_up thumb_down -75

After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.