- Things You Think Only You Do

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry

Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

Fill up a glass, drink half, then fill it up again.

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

sing in the shower

Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

misread dig bick

Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.