Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

I **** with no hands.

Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

My parents are annoying.

I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

Poop naked.

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.