Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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act like people from movies or shows just because my life is that boring

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Music is ALWAYS playing in my head. I can't go a day without noticing that the whole time a song is just burned in my brain, playing over and over. Is this okay? Im pretty sure im the only one...

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Walking around near loud music and begin to feel like your walking to the beat.

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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I piss in the bed every night

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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I'm in my twenties and still don't drive.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.