Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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Picking my nose.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.