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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

dream about the most amazing guy/girl that you have a relationship with and hope it comes true

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

I hold my breath in elevators

When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

Doing something bad, then being ashamed because you think your dead family members watch you doing it saying tsk tsk

When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.