Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Pour a bowl of cereal. Open fridge. No milk. (karky)

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Drinking and dialing people I dated.

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.