Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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get really confused

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.