I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

Check this site often to see if anyone liked my comment or not...

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

check shower for murder then pee

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.