Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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When I'm reading a story in English class or a book in general but I'm tired while doing so and I'm reading on down the page, if I read a sentence and miss a word or mispronounce a word I MUST go back and re read the entire sentence until I have read it correctly or I feel very weird and panicked.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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I sometimes feel like I am the only one like me in this world

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.