I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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I always cry when I pray.

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Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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when looking for lost keys i return to the place they should be at least 5 times and look there

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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KICK THE CAN

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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I push the door open with my stomach

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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being super bored at shool

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.