see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Gotta sleep with a fan.

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Smoking in the shower.

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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when i realise for example that my shoes are stinking i get really paranoid and try to cover them under the table or something because i feel that everyone is thinking about it or is covering their nose or stuff

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invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.