acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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I pass by closed doors quickly and at least as far away as the door seems like it can open, because I always feel like someone's going to burst out, hitting me in the face with the door.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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squezzing moisturisure/tooth paste really hard cos the top is all dry and then a shit load comes out all at once

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.