Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

thumb_up thumb_down +187

If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

i masturbate with my feet

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

thumb_up thumb_down -43

sing in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +94

When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

thumb_up thumb_down -45

think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

thumb_up thumb_down +1,335

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.