I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Check this site often to see if anyone liked my comment or not...

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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check shower for murder then pee

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.