when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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I pee in the shower.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.