When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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Make little rectangles on your desktop when waiting for something to load...

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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I cannot stand mosquito's if I am asleep and I hear one I turn my light on so I can find it and kill it and I wont rest until I do

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.