Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

I have a phobia of incest

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

incognito mode on google chrome

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.