brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I have never watched Star Wars.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Eat ice by itself

thumb_up thumb_down -49

run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +87

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,220

Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

thumb_up thumb_down +701

I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

thumb_up thumb_down +283

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

My parents are annoying.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.