eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

thumb_up thumb_down -35

In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

thumb_up thumb_down -152

My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

thumb_up thumb_down +130

Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Cry every day just because it makes you feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.