I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +909

I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Having small fingers and, regardless, still unable to click on the right thing when on the internet with a touch screen phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +203

Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

thumb_up thumb_down -141

Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

thumb_up thumb_down -110

How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.