When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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i make loud noises so before i fart people cant hear it.

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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I scratch the scabs on my head whenever im bored

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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When I have to use my hands to eat my steak, chew the bones etc (do not tell me that so far this is weird and unusual :P ) I wipe my fingers after each touch => use a whole pack of table tissues :D

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.