Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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While I am busy working I like to have music playing and while I type I type to the song and its beat

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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i masturbate with my feet

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Set Fire to the Rain

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.