Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I have autofocus in my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

laziness .... its all in the mind

thumb_up thumb_down -76

im going to rape that girl

thumb_up thumb_down -109

I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

thumb_up thumb_down +121

I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Walking around near loud music and begin to feel like your walking to the beat.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Tear up when I poop

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When tapping, I always have to do the same pattern of taps, and I feel incomplete if I don't finish the pattern I started.

thumb_up thumb_down +205

When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.