when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

thumb_up thumb_down -71

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

thumb_up thumb_down -76

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -44

suck my own penis

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +523

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.