Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.