Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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For some reason I really love to be hated on horsehead network, no idea why, stopped questioning it moments ago... Moral: Know what I mean?

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

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Drinking and dialing people I dated.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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When I have to use my hands to eat my steak, chew the bones etc (do not tell me that so far this is weird and unusual :P ) I wipe my fingers after each touch => use a whole pack of table tissues :D

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.