When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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I hate being called "buddy".

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.