Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

thumb_up thumb_down -39

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down +160

I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

thumb_up thumb_down -80

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

thumb_up thumb_down -62

eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +532

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.