My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.