When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Ur mum

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

It's hot but I still have on covers

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -146

Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

thumb_up thumb_down -147

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -85

When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

thumb_up thumb_down +45

every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.