DIY LOL
Clarksonisms
Parent Failure
Scumbag Steve
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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.
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-43
When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.
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+49
Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.
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-17
Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.
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-57
I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)
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-36
Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers
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-51
Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower
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-37
When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.
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-71
Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.
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-62
I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.
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-63
Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.
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-9
Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny
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-33
I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.
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+49
Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.
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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."
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-29
I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.
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-28
Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.
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+75
When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).
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-59
Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.
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-19
Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B
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-136
Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.
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-14
get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky
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-148
If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.
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-6
i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!
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-27
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.