Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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I have a phobia of incest

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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incognito mode on google chrome

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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i make loud noises so before i fart people cant hear it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.