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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.
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-52
Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."
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+13
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!
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-63
When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.
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-4
when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?
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-66
When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about
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+37
When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth
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-66
I make all the faces on my money face the same way.
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+175
after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!
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-33
Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.
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+12
before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)
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+863
whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.
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-56
Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)
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-5
Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.
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-73
I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.
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+355
sit in the shower
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+673
I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god
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-61
I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.
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+26
I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.
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-3
I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol
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-69
open the fridge A eat food B think
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-84
Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.
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-3
creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)
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+12
clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.
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-30
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.