I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I apologize, when i bump against things.

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.