when i realise for example that my shoes are stinking i get really paranoid and try to cover them under the table or something because i feel that everyone is thinking about it or is covering their nose or stuff

invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

I was not born in the country I am living in now

After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

chewing icecream before you swallow it

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.