Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Courtesy flush.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.