sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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Smell your hands to see if there dirty.

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Poo really loud

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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Type in "Things you think only you do" then feel better that alot of people do the same stupid or smart things.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.