Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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Being fat

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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I can't brush my teeth with the toilet lid up.

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Guessing how many people are listening to the same song at the same moment as you

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I chew my ice cream.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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this is a terrible website and i hate you

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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??2????????????????????

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Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.