Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Any time I shop for used clothes, I always have to ask, “Did anybody die in this?” –Ikka

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.