Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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Play Minecraft

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.