Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

Take off the ends of the banana (

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

I like to eat the crust on pizzas

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

Play Minecraft

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.