when i realise for example that my shoes are stinking i get really paranoid and try to cover them under the table or something because i feel that everyone is thinking about it or is covering their nose or stuff

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invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

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Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

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Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.