Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.