I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I apologize, when i bump against things.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.