I **** with no hands.

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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wonder who wrote these things

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Sometimes I wonder if my whole life is a hallucination and I'm actually in some padded room somewhere, talking to myself and staring into space while my real family mourns the fact that their daughter will never be able to live a real life...

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Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

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Think something that you REALLY don't want to think and hurriedly force your mind to change its thoughts.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Pee in my work garbage can.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.