IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -73

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -77

When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

thumb_up thumb_down +33

if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

thumb_up thumb_down -81

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.