Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.