I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Has to cover up with a blanket, regardless of the temperature...

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Watch the same movies over and over

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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I **** with no hands.

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.