Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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if i put my shirt on backwards, instead of taking my shirt off and putting it on right, i pull my arms in and just spin my shirt.

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Pee in the shower

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.