I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Try to flip the dice at the casino to my number with my mind

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.