Tear up when I poop

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wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

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Having small fingers and, regardless, still unable to click on the right thing when on the internet with a touch screen phone.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

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I approach balcony ledges with my feet firmly planted, just in case a random person decides to come pick me up and throw me off the balcony.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

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Talk to my cat.

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I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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Pee in the shower.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Always think "what if ghosts really ARE everywhere?" when I'm naked in the shower, or getting dressed, or any other private and/or embarrassing moment. Then get really freaked out and picture 6 people from 1902 watching you.

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.