Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.