When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.