Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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When I see interactive ads on webpages ( "Shoot 5 iPhones And Get One Free!" type of windows ), I feel compelled to finish the task, even though I KNOW it's going to open a pop-up and waste 10 seconds of my life.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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i run my 2 fingers across a wall like they're ninja feet when im happy.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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check shower for murder then pee

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.