Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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When i am bored i go on the internet and i dont know what to do but as soon as i turn off my computer i come up with lots of fun things i could have done

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Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.