Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Lie in bed and wonder what happens whe you die, get depressed and come on this site for reassurance

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.