When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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when you can't think of anything to type you just type random letters. a;lsdfj;ldfkjsfasdfljf

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.