Ever dreamt of being naked and then waking up in horror.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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i use my thumb when using a DS instead of using the stylus

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Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.