Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Pee in the shower

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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Wanting something so much. Getting it then wondering what to do next

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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squezzing moisturisure/tooth paste really hard cos the top is all dry and then a shit load comes out all at once

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When I walk into the bathroom and the lid of toilet is closed, I always get slightly nervous to lift it up and see into the toilet. I'm always thinking there'll be something disgusting or scary in there.

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When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.