I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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Wanting something so much. Getting it then wondering what to do next

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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squezzing moisturisure/tooth paste really hard cos the top is all dry and then a shit load comes out all at once

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When I walk into the bathroom and the lid of toilet is closed, I always get slightly nervous to lift it up and see into the toilet. I'm always thinking there'll be something disgusting or scary in there.

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When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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Lie in bed and wonder what happens whe you die, get depressed and come on this site for reassurance

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.