If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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check shower for murder then pee

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When laying in bed I put the covers over my head and act like I'm in different places..caves..tent..etc..

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.

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Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

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*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

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When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

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before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.