"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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sometimes i sing and when i do , i make drum sounds with my teeth and you know, all that stuff

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.