Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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Made after doomsday plans

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

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If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.