When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.