Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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when your walking past a chain link fence you slide your fingers along it because it feels cool

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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I'm in my twenties and still don't drive.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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I pee in the shower.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.