Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Rub boogers under the arm rest on the couch.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

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I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.