I can only play a piano with my right hand

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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fap

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.