Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

when your walking past a chain link fence you slide your fingers along it because it feels cool

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

I'm in my twenties and still don't drive.

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

I pee in the shower.

really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.