When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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While I am busy working I like to have music playing and while I type I type to the song and its beat

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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My parents are annoying.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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blink

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.