I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Sleep with pillow between legs

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I never feel bored

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

thumb_up thumb_down -3

play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When I wait for something to load, I right click and then quickly try to drag a box around the right click box before it disappears. Then I try to right click and drag and see if I can outline the right click box before it appears.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

thumb_up thumb_down +308

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I think I have superpowers and sometimes I try to use them by force, like lifting a pencil with my mind or elevate from the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +298

Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

thumb_up thumb_down -14

ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down +52

When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

not be afraid of hurricane sandy

thumb_up thumb_down -2

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.