like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I want to suck on your penis

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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Turn on the faucet and/or fan when using the toilet at someone else's house or at my own place when there is a visitor because I don't want them to hear me peeing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.