Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

make south park refferences every day

I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.