if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Putting your bra on your dogs dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

thumb_up thumb_down -17

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

thumb_up thumb_down -1

masturbate quietly in my room.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.