Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Randomly think odd scenarios in your head and say if that happened this is what i would do and then forget about it the next day

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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On an one night if I come too fast .je persuade the girl that I have to forget my cellular in my automobile and I get out

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.