I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

thumb_up thumb_down -89

When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

thumb_up thumb_down -102

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

thumb_up thumb_down -54

use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Mayada stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

thumb_up thumb_down -71

use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.