I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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only read the short jokes on this website

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

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when im losing an argument, ill start singing my responses

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.