If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Watch the same movies over and over

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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I **** with no hands.

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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wonder who wrote these things

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Sometimes I wonder if my whole life is a hallucination and I'm actually in some padded room somewhere, talking to myself and staring into space while my real family mourns the fact that their daughter will never be able to live a real life...

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.