When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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When I wear a backpack I constantly check to make sure all the pockets are zipped

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

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Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.