If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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I was the real Stig...

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.