get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.