I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka.

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.