Daydream about doing unspeakable things(killing, raping, beating, cutting, shooting, ect.) to the person you hate

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smoke marijuana

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Having gay sex

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Pee in the shower

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.