get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

Thinking your life is a movie...

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.