Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

only read the short jokes on this website

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

I **** with no hands.

Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.