stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.