ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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Poo really loud

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

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Sometimes I wonder who created words. For instance, who thought to call a fence a fence? It could have been called something completely random like bucxbuw, but it would seem normal to us and fence would seem like jibberish instead.

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When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

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Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.