In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

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Try and accomplish something before the timer on the microwave beeps :)

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

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Look an ugly person up and down and try to think of ways that they can improve how they look. ( clothing, hair, and makeup)

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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i masturbate with my feet

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.