When you tell yourself that this is the last page you'll read and end up reading three more.

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I praise the honesty of you all! :) I think confessing here is kind of fun...am I alone?

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Your mom

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

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??2????????????????????

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Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Dip my pizza crust in my soda

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.