fap

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Pick giant boogers and eat them.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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When i'm eating M&Ms, I save one of each color until the end so I can eat them all at once.

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Say "ow" when I drop something or before I get hurt

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.