Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I **** with no hands.

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.