Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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I try to move inanimate objects/set things on fire/control the elements with my mind.

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Smoking in the shower.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

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Play Minecraft

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.