I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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Counting the lines on the street as they pass the edge of your cars window.

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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When I'm reading a story in English class or a book in general but I'm tired while doing so and I'm reading on down the page, if I read a sentence and miss a word or mispronounce a word I MUST go back and re read the entire sentence until I have read it correctly or I feel very weird and panicked.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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I sometimes feel like I am the only one like me in this world

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.