in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

thumb_up thumb_down -137

If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

thumb_up thumb_down +3

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I want to suck on your penis

thumb_up thumb_down -87

After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I used to eat bath bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

thumb_up thumb_down -29

use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

thumb_up thumb_down -17

k. everyone

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.