Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

I try to move inanimate objects/set things on fire/control the elements with my mind.

Smoking in the shower.

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

I masturbate with sandpaper

Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

Take off the ends of the banana (

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

I like to eat the crust on pizzas

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

Play Minecraft

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.