- Things You Think Only You Do

Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

sometimes i sing and when i do , i make drum sounds with my teeth and you know, all that stuff

Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

When tapping, I always have to do the same pattern of taps, and I feel incomplete if I don't finish the pattern I started.

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.