I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.