You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

I have a phobia of incest

Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

I put salt on buttered toast...

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.