When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.