I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Pretend to listen to iPod, but actually eavesdrop on the people around me.

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I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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i always fall in my imaginations. whenever i think of something, e.g me walking to my room, i'd fall on my way there. what's wrong with me.....

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I hit the frig after sex

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.