I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I pee in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Start browsing a list of pics at the back, so I can see the order they were posted.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +23

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

thumb_up thumb_down -63

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -69

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

thumb_up thumb_down +44

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

thumb_up thumb_down -48

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -89

I ejaculate fire and glory

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.