When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

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Play Minecraft

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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I get mad at characters on tv and i shoot the screen with my Nerf gun

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.