When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.