When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

The older I get the more honest I get

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

When I'm opening my locker lock, I try to beat the person next to me.

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.