Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Doing something bad, then being ashamed because you think your dead family members watch you doing it saying tsk tsk

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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I sleep in the nude.

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.