I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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I have seen a UFO

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Whenever you are in a quiet room and are trying to eat a food that is very loud to chew (like chips) you try to chew slowly or alter your chewing style so noone will think your too loud

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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im going to rape that girl

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.