Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

I **** with no hands.

Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

Drinking and dialing people I dated.

I lift my butt when I'm farting

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.