Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.