Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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turn on my reading light when I get in bed just to check if there's a monster.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.