(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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When someone is reading something out loud in class...and they are reading REALLY slow...You quietly read fast and you try to beat them to the end of the paragraph

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.