I ejaculate fire and glory

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

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Whenever i wear long sleeves i always hold onto the sleeves with my ring and pinkie fingers.

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

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Every time i get a new video game i read the back of the case and the pamphlet the whole ride home

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When I have headphones in, I wonder if my swallowing is extremely loud for everyone else too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.