I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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when your walking past a chain link fence you slide your fingers along it because it feels cool

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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Scared to flush the tolite at friends houses in fear that i will wake someone up of break the tolite.

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

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When walking on an old looking bridge I try to get off quickly and before anyone else gets on there because all I can think about is it giving way and me falling to my death/being very wet

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make south park refferences every day

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.