sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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while taking a bath, I imagine my knees, belly, arms etc poking out of the water are islands, and i imagine little people running around on them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.