If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Waking up from a really bad dream that you thought was real and then thinking about it all day worried that it actually happened

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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I talk to my pet when no one is home.

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.