DIY LOL
Anti-Pickup Line
I AM DISAPPOINT
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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.
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-53
Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.
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+4
When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.
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+921
Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.
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-12
When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades
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-43
Whenever another person sitting next to me at school doesn't push their chair in when they get up to leave, I do it for them because it looks more orderly.
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+445
Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.
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+122
Give a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down' based strictly on how much you like the number it will change it to.
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+268
think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind
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+1,338
When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.
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+996
Get that shiver when you're peeing.
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+222
reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal
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+636
If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.
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+721
Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.
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-85
When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.
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+797
Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away
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-109
Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?
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-62
Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes
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-79
While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.
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-30
When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.
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+11
Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter
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-24
I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.
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-37
Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.
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+535
Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...
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+1,509
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.