use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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If there's a mirror i look if there's people around looking at me, and if there aren't it's ok to stare at my reflection.

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.