Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.