Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

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Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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jack off

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Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

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I think about life problems in the shower

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Courtesy flush.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.