whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

Play with my own boobs for no reason

Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

fap

I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

chew on the side of my teeth

I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

sit in the shower

Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.