Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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Whenever another person sitting next to me at school doesn't push their chair in when they get up to leave, I do it for them because it looks more orderly.

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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Give a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down' based strictly on how much you like the number it will change it to.

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think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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Get that shiver when you're peeing.

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reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

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Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.