My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When I'm riding in a car, i squeeze my toes everytime the car passes a dotted line in the road or when theres a curb

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I control water in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

I cant ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

My hands are always so cold and clamy at school, when I go on dates, and when im with friends. But, of course, when im at home, they.are.normal. :l

thumb_up thumb_down -53

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

thumb_up thumb_down +16

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

thumb_up thumb_down -33

in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Make up a song to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -155

Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

thumb_up thumb_down +248

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.