watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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I really don't know what to do when i see a double post on here. I mean, i get that people like to do stuff with their feet when their in bed, but somehow al lot of these people do not find it enough to vote up an existing post.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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When I get photographed with a flash and afterwards there is that little greenish dot in my vision, I keep trying to look at it directly, although I know that it's impossible

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

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sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.