When your sitting on the toilet you watch a video,or read something on your ipod/ipad/etc

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry

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Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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Can't seem to manage not throwing rocks into sea/river

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.