I gotta get down of Friday

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.