Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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I scold or point at my electronics and tell them "No, bad!" whenever I push the wrong button or shut them off on accident.

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When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

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Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

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Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

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RAPE CHILDREN

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.