Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Make funny fish faces and noises in the mirror just because... Oh yeah, and fish totally make noise, right?

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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sometimes i sing and when i do , i make drum sounds with my teeth and you know, all that stuff

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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Sometimes I wonder if every thing is real or just fantasy and I get really scared,creeped,depressed,and Anxious

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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i use dental dams

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.