At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

When I'm scared in the shower sing

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

Start to tell a story, but realize that nobody is bothering to listen to you.. So you slowly let your voice fade off

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.