Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

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whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.