Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.