Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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When I'm watching a youtube video, I worry about how much time is left because I'm concerned the video maker won't wrap it up in time before the video ends.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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My parents are annoying.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.