Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Walking around near loud music and begin to feel like your walking to the beat.

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1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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When laying in bed I put the covers over my head and act like I'm in different places..caves..tent..etc..

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.