When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

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When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.