I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

I'm really picky about how I earn money

When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

After watching a video of someone doing something tiring, I always feel tired in whichever body part they were using in the video

pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

The older I get the more honest I get

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.