when I'm walking i always try to step over the cracks with the same foot every time

I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

Sitting next to a banana called James

smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.