- Things You Think Only You Do

Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

I type things i really want to say to people and then delete them straight away because im too chicken to say it.

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.