If I'm doing something that involves two ppl i race even if the other person doesn't know it and if i win i get a huge ass grin which is awkward sometimes

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When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

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Doing something bad, then being ashamed because you think your dead family members watch you doing it saying tsk tsk

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Any time I break something, I always try to put it back so it looks completely normal. That way, the next person who picks it up will have it break right in their hands… Thus becoming their fault... -Ikka

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Mayada stupid

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.