Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

Made after doomsday plans

Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.