If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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while taking a bath, I imagine my knees, belly, arms etc poking out of the water are islands, and i imagine little people running around on them

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Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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call someone by a siblings name.

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.