I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I'm really picky about how I earn money

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

After watching a video of someone doing something tiring, I always feel tired in whichever body part they were using in the video

thumb_up thumb_down -41

pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

thumb_up thumb_down +917

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -81

If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +716

The older I get the more honest I get

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.