Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Made after doomsday plans

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Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.