I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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I hold my boobs if I'm running upstairs and not wearing a bra.

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When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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sometimes, i smell my own farts.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.