When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.