Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

thumb_up thumb_down +351

When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

thumb_up thumb_down +136

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

thumb_up thumb_down

When im alone i have a conversation with myself

thumb_up thumb_down +1,520

I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

thumb_up thumb_down +234

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -45

if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Tear up when I poop

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

wipe your hands on your pants

thumb_up thumb_down +1,402

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.