i masturbate with my feet

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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I scratch and sniff.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.