When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

When I die during an online game I try to cram as much food and drink in my mouth as I can before I respawn. If I have no food I roll all over the bed.

I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

Stab myself on a daily basis

humiliating little girls

I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

Text random people saying I'm pregnant

Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.