Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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shag your mom

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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Think about blinking, and then realize that when you think about blinking, you can't stop thinking about blinking, and thus a 3-4 minute awkward blinking-fest begins.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.