Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

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when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.