Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.