If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

thumb_up thumb_down

Justin Beiber is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

open the fridge A eat food B think

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

thumb_up thumb_down -57

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

thumb_up thumb_down -48

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

thumb_up thumb_down -78

When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

thumb_up thumb_down

I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Walk around aimlessly when talking on the phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,785

Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.