When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Smoking in the shower.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.