shag your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -87

When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

humiliating little girls

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Eating chicken at KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)

thumb_up thumb_down +1,646

when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

thumb_up thumb_down -76

whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

thumb_up thumb_down -86

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

thumb_up thumb_down -98

See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.