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sneeze without closing my eyes
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-31
you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go
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-55
If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps
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-35
Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.
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-40
When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.
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-52
Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.
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+4
I rape small children ;).
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-270
worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.
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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.
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-28
ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...
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+54
Think about things I should be doing with my life.
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+4
get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere
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-48
working out escape routes for each room in your house when you're alone, just in case
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+226
For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.
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+361
turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning
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-98
I talk to my pet when no one is home.
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+1,588
I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do
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+5
rub the underside of your ear lobe to smell the odd smell.
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-54
Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.
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-78
Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.
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-70
I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay
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-79
When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.
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+29
When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.
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-19
Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?
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-35
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.