In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.