eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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to wake up from a nice dream than try to sleep again to finish it

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I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Laugh quietly to myself in public then cough to make the laugh seem like a it was a cough so people won't think I'm weird.

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Wrap up inside a sleeping bag and slide down the steps.

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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when im losing an argument, ill start singing my responses

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.