I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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I want to suck on your penis

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check shower for murder then pee

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.