When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

thumb_up thumb_down +143

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +822

Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

thumb_up thumb_down +205

I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +158

Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

thumb_up thumb_down -61

get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

thumb_up thumb_down +52

I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +209

wen on this website go look at the most disliked

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.