use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Make little rectangles on your desktop when waiting for something to load...

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.