DIY LOL
Anti Joke
I AM DISAPPOINT
What The Face
ethugtxt
home
Popular
Newest
You Decide
« First
‹ Prev
…
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
…
Next ›
Last »
Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.
thumb_up
thumb_down
-41
When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon
thumb_up
thumb_down
-19
Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"
thumb_up
thumb_down
-133
think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind
thumb_up
thumb_down
+1,338
Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.
thumb_up
thumb_down
-7
hate Justin Bieber
thumb_up
thumb_down
-101
When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.
thumb_up
thumb_down
-5
when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service
thumb_up
thumb_down
-37
If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm
thumb_up
thumb_down
-8
listen to madonnas new album
thumb_up
thumb_down
-45
Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...
thumb_up
thumb_down
+14
Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language
thumb_up
thumb_down
-21
When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.
thumb_up
thumb_down
+19
as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT
thumb_up
thumb_down
-113
Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.
thumb_up
thumb_down
-63
Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)
thumb_up
thumb_down
+6
I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.
thumb_up
thumb_down
-48
When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.
thumb_up
thumb_down
-65
you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks
thumb_up
thumb_down
-1
Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...
thumb_up
thumb_down
+38
Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.
thumb_up
thumb_down
-42
Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".
thumb_up
thumb_down
+27
eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.
thumb_up
thumb_down
-64
get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.
thumb_up
thumb_down
-19
« First
‹ Prev
…
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
…
Next ›
Last »
Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.