When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Having an OCD moment when the number of questions on a test is not a multiple of 5. I mean, who puts 47 questions on a test?! Or 53? English and Math teachers rarely do this but it's always the Histoy ones...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I pass by closed doors quickly and at least as far away as the door seems like it can open, because I always feel like someone's going to burst out, hitting me in the face with the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -51

when I'm walking i always try to step over the cracks with the same foot every time

thumb_up thumb_down -75

In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I like to burn candles in my room and some times I burn the hair on my arm and smell it afterwards

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I don't read the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I gotta get down of Friday

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

thumb_up thumb_down +49

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

thumb_up thumb_down -41

i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.