Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

i see almost everything as a sign

when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.