When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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When I die during an online game I try to cram as much food and drink in my mouth as I can before I respawn. If I have no food I roll all over the bed.

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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humiliating little girls

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.