I really like taking shits.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

thumb_up thumb_down -6

misread flashlight

thumb_up thumb_down +67

I gotta get down of Friday

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

thumb_up thumb_down -79

The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

thumb_up thumb_down +802

Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Not answer a question or something of the sort Evan if you know you know the answer because you are paranoid that you are wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

thumb_up thumb_down -137

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.