I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

thumb_up thumb_down -85

coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

thumb_up thumb_down -26

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -82

almost asleep and your body randomly jerks and scares you

thumb_up thumb_down -40

If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When no one's at home, the house turns into an action movie set. Going to my room turns into sprinting up the stairs and purposely stumbling to give the effect that bombs are going off. And always make it to the room in time to hop on the last helicopter out of the jungle.

thumb_up thumb_down +221

When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.