RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

Get longingly desperate feeling for days/weeks after a concert of my favorite band.

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

I walk into a room and forget why I'm in there.

I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.

Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.