I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

get home from work and masturbate instantly

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

Put my hands together the 'other' way

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

Pretend animals talk to you!

I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

I want to suck on your penis

check shower for murder then pee

Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.