Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

I talk to myself when I'm alone

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.