use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

Like a toy until it breaks.

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

I rehearse arguments in my head.

from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

Make little rectangles on your desktop when waiting for something to load...

When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.