Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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fap

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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play with a laser pointer and pretend its a lightsaber

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I can't brush my teeth with the toilet lid up.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.