Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

whale sperm

When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

Tap different rythyms with my fingers and keep doing it over and over until the rythym ends on the last finger

I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Find something you dislike about your face/body and instantly compare it with every person you meet from then on

Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.