Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Dip my pizza crust in my soda

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

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Boinked my neighbor

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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I talk to my pet when no one is home.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.