I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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Say a word over and over until it sounds weird

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Pee in the shower

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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When I wanted to sit on chair or anything, I'll wipe them first, in case there is something sticked on them

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.