Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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wipe your hands on your pants

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

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When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

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lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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jack off

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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i use dental dams

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.