Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

wipe your hands on your pants

I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

jack off

getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

i use dental dams

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....

Pretend animals talk to you!

make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.