When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.