Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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Whenever i wear long sleeves i always hold onto the sleeves with my ring and pinkie fingers.

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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I always cry when I pray.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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speak proper english

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.