sometimes i sing and when i do , i make drum sounds with my teeth and you know, all that stuff

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.