Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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when two pictures look very similar, i go back and forth between them so it looks like they're moving

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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think about all of the things you would do if you were the only person on earth

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.