While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

when I'm walking i always try to step over the cracks with the same foot every time

when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

At the store then mom leaves to get something then u start panicking as the cashier begins paying and you thing she will charge yo already

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.