I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other in the same way just to be fair to both hands

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.