when i know that friends are coming to my place the next day i clean up my room and then i'm like...oh i forgot to clean up i'm sorry, it's always in a mess...

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when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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I have tons of imaginary conversations in my head with people I know, but they never happen. It's worse when something funny happens in the imaginary conversation and I laugh to myself, and if someone notices I can't even say that I was remembering something because I wasn't, it had never happened...

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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whale sperm

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.