Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Give a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down' based strictly on how much you like the number it will change it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +264

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

thumb_up thumb_down -181

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

thumb_up thumb_down +123

Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I ejaculate fire and glory

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.