When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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Dancing while hoovering

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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Dip my pizza crust in my soda

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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I talk to my pet when no one is home.

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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If I'm doing something that involves two ppl i race even if the other person doesn't know it and if i win i get a huge ass grin which is awkward sometimes

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.