Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -85

While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +962

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

thumb_up thumb_down -34

pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

thumb_up thumb_down -47

blow nose. look at kleenex.

thumb_up thumb_down

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

thumb_up thumb_down -112

thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Running round the house like I'm Lara croft or someone from a video game :D it's fun

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Having to step on snails to hear the crunch

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -31

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

thumb_up thumb_down +144

as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whale sperm

thumb_up thumb_down -182

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.