Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,709

Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

k. everyone

thumb_up thumb_down -57

While I am busy working I like to have music playing and while I type I type to the song and its beat

thumb_up thumb_down -20

sometimes, i smell my own farts.

thumb_up thumb_down +169

When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

thumb_up thumb_down -128

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

thumb_up thumb_down +10

On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

thumb_up thumb_down -148

Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.