I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

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When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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I like to poo while smoking.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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Suck up stuff with the vacuum you know you shouldn't because your too lazy to pick it up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.