I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Talk to my cat.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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Stay up late on the weekdays and go to bed early on the weekends ..... What is wrong with me?

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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I hate being called "buddy".

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.