after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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join online argument even though you have no idea what the argument is about

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When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Pee in the shower

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.