Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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lie on the couch with my head upside-down and imagine what it'd be like to walk around on the ceiling, and if you were to flip the house over so the floor's the ceiling, what you'd have to nail down to keep in place.

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I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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misread dig bick

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.