I really enjoy self-pity.

Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

Peeing in the shower

Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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I pee in the water of the toilet to make bubbles

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.