every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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I pass by closed doors quickly and at least as far away as the door seems like it can open, because I always feel like someone's going to burst out, hitting me in the face with the door.

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.