I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

thumb_up thumb_down -126

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -125

whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When i wake up from a good dream, i close my eyes and imagine the ending in different ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Type in "Things you think only you do" then feel better that alot of people do the same stupid or smart things.

thumb_up thumb_down +153

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

thumb_up thumb_down -50

whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

thumb_up thumb_down -28

avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

thumb_up thumb_down +1,367

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

thumb_up thumb_down -21

get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

thumb_up thumb_down -90

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.