When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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Vote for the other guy

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.