like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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I daydream about what would happen if my phone rang in public and I had a ringtone of a cool song and what people think about the song and if they think I'm cool for it, or if they see some sort of symbolic meaning in the song. I do this while pacing around my room listening to the song. I think about what people I know would think about certain lyrics in the song. I do this all the time.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.