When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Think about breathing...

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.