I ejaculate fire and glory

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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Whenever another person sitting next to me at school doesn't push their chair in when they get up to leave, I do it for them because it looks more orderly.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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When i'm in a classroom I think about all of the possible ways to save everyone if something bad happens.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.