like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

I daydream about what would happen if my phone rang in public and I had a ringtone of a cool song and what people think about the song and if they think I'm cool for it, or if they see some sort of symbolic meaning in the song. I do this while pacing around my room listening to the song. I think about what people I know would think about certain lyrics in the song. I do this all the time.

When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

Pretend animals talk to you!

Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.