I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Only use the left earphone.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

thumb_up thumb_down +339

before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

thumb_up thumb_down +859

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

smoke marijuana

thumb_up thumb_down -61

pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Look at my poo before I flush it.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.