I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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when something is lost you check the spot they or it should be at least 5 to 10 times

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

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When I walk into the bathroom and the lid of toilet is closed, I always get slightly nervous to lift it up and see into the toilet. I'm always thinking there'll be something disgusting or scary in there.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.