I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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When I wanted to sit on chair or anything, I'll wipe them first, in case there is something sticked on them

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.