When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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I stare at the paint impasto on the ceiling until I see faces.

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waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

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Be a loner at school

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.