Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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being super bored at school

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being super bored at shool

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.