When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

I eat ass

I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

When I wear a backpack I constantly check to make sure all the pockets are zipped

I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

sometimes, i smell my own farts.

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

open the fridge A eat food B think

Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.