Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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humiliating little girls

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.