Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Doing something bad, then being ashamed because you think your dead family members watch you doing it saying tsk tsk

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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Pee in a glass and pour it down the sink, if someone is using the bathroom already.

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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whenever I see those commercials where there is two people talking to each other but they constantly look at me it really irritates me

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.