I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

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I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

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Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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Laugh harder when trying to explain what you are laughing about

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.