It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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I pretend that someone can see through my eyes whenever I'm doing something cool, i guess so they think I'm cooler or something.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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im going to rape that girl

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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turn on my reading light when I get in bed just to check if there's a monster.

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.

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Know all the lyrics to a song but then realize you never actually "listened" to the song to see what it's about

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.