i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

pick your nose and eat it

I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

Give a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down' based strictly on how much you like the number it will change it to.

Giving my dog a massage.

Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.