I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Throw mini celabration of clock says 11:11, 9:11 or anything ending in :00

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Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

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Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

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sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.