i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

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Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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pick your nose and eat it

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

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Give a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down' based strictly on how much you like the number it will change it to.

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Giving my dog a massage.

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.