Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Think about blinking, and then realize that when you think about blinking, you can't stop thinking about blinking, and thus a 3-4 minute awkward blinking-fest begins.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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get bored so I fist myself for money

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I cannot stand mosquito's if I am asleep and I hear one I turn my light on so I can find it and kill it and I wont rest until I do

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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I read the down voted posts

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

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A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.