I **** with no hands.

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I control water in the shower.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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Do somthing only you do

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.