Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

thumb_up thumb_down -77

think about all of the things you would do if you were the only person on earth

thumb_up thumb_down +280

Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

thumb_up thumb_down -49

get really confused

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sometimes I toot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I laugh easier when im with someone

thumb_up thumb_down -39

sing in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +92

I Masturbate Daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -43

stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

thumb_up thumb_down -69

when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Smell your hands to see if there dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.