Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

thumb_up thumb_down -21

In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,584

Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +275

Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.