start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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Eat ice by itself

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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think that things u do aren't gross and when other people do them its disgusting

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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When I'm opening my locker lock, I try to beat the person next to me.

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.