I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

Throw mini celabration of clock says 11:11, 9:11 or anything ending in :00

Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.