I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

Laugh harder when trying to explain what you are laughing about

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Text random people saying I'm pregnant

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.