when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

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singing along to a song that you think you know the words to.. but you dont

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I scold or point at my electronics and tell them "No, bad!" whenever I push the wrong button or shut them off on accident.

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Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.