I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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dream about the most amazing guy/girl that you have a relationship with and hope it comes true

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.