while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

Whenever another person sitting next to me at school doesn't push their chair in when they get up to leave, I do it for them because it looks more orderly.

I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

I'm really picky about how I earn money

before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

Vote for the other guy

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.