Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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Hate using public bathrooms because everyone can hear you pee.

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Open blinds when taking a poop to look outside, then realize that someone could be watching you.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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When listening to awesome music I perform a subtle headbanging motion.. Then I look around to see if anybody is staring at me like I'm retarded.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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when i am in a long car ride i look out the window and imagine im in a sad music video

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.