try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

Get turned on lookin at my own butt

When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

sometimes when I listen to a song while riding in the car I look out the window and pretend I'm in some angsty music video

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

Get exstremly sad or depressed whenever you think about something you did that was embarrassing or something you regret infront of someone when that person probably doesn't even remember it....

Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.