while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

thumb_up thumb_down +320

I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,557

When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,385

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

thumb_up thumb_down +791

Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

thumb_up thumb_down +311

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whenever another person sitting next to me at school doesn't push their chair in when they get up to leave, I do it for them because it looks more orderly.

thumb_up thumb_down +444

I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

thumb_up thumb_down +1,395

Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I'm really picky about how I earn money

thumb_up thumb_down -55

before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

thumb_up thumb_down +868

Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Vote for the other guy

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.