try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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sometimes when I listen to a song while riding in the car I look out the window and pretend I'm in some angsty music video

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Get exstremly sad or depressed whenever you think about something you did that was embarrassing or something you regret infront of someone when that person probably doesn't even remember it....

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.