Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Pee in the shower

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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misread dig bick

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.