When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

thumb_up thumb_down -135

Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -136

LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +535

Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

thumb_up thumb_down -127

try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I really enjoy self-pity.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

always check thde back seat before starting the car

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

thumb_up thumb_down -61

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.