When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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I piss in the bed every night

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.