When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

I really enjoy self-pity.

always check thde back seat before starting the car

Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.