Mayada stupid

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Go outside and pee.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.