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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.
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-68
I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.
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-22
I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.
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-3
Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.
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-41
Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.
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-37
Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.
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-89
Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.
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-125
resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.
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-64
get caught up in youtube comment arguments
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+30
hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters
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-58
I piss in the bed every night
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+9
Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio
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-35
Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.
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-83
i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)
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-14
I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.
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-33
Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.
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+111
Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <
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-99
Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets
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+1
I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.
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+2
Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.
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+55
I don't read the terms of service.
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-39
Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.
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-21
open the fridge A eat food B think
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-85
I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.
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+1,692
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.