Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

Text random people saying I'm pregnant

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

Lie in bed and wonder what happens whe you die, get depressed and come on this site for reassurance

Sitting down in the shower

I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

Spinning around to get dizzy, then spinning the other way to try and undo it.

Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

Like a toy until it breaks.

I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.