When your sitting on the toilet you watch a video,or read something on your ipod/ipad/etc

thumb_up thumb_down +156

Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

thumb_up thumb_down -86

sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

thumb_up thumb_down -3

This song will not come out of my head!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Can't seem to manage not throwing rocks into sea/river

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Putting your bra on your dogs dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

thumb_up thumb_down -60

say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When I die during an online game I try to cram as much food and drink in my mouth as I can before I respawn. If I have no food I roll all over the bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +402

Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

thumb_up thumb_down +85

I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.