I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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When I walk into the bathroom and the lid of toilet is closed, I always get slightly nervous to lift it up and see into the toilet. I'm always thinking there'll be something disgusting or scary in there.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Eat something to pass the time while I wait for my food in the microwave to be cooked.

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Post on this website, then give yourself the first thumbs up to kick-start your success.

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When your sitting on the toilet you watch a video,or read something on your ipod/ipad/etc

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whenever im doing sumthing im not suppose to i feel like everybody knows what im doing

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When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

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When I wait for something to load, I right click and then quickly try to drag a box around the right click box before it disappears. Then I try to right click and drag and see if I can outline the right click box before it appears.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.