When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

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okay,So we bought a 1000 piece puzzle and made a point to put it together when it was done we found that it was missing a piece so we went back to the same store bought the same puzzle and went through it until we found the missing piece then returned it.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.