I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....

It's hot but I still have on covers

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

Can't seem to manage not throwing rocks into sea/river

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.