When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.