I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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i masturbate with my feet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.