When im alone i have a conversation with myself

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

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Whenever i wear long sleeves i always hold onto the sleeves with my ring and pinkie fingers.

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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Breathe.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.