when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.