Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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jack off

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.