I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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Thinking about how fast you blink and how many times you have blinked. You then start blinking too much because you are thinling about yourself blinking, and you try to stop, but you can't stop thinking about it.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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When walking on an old looking bridge I try to get off quickly and before anyone else gets on there because all I can think about is it giving way and me falling to my death/being very wet

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When im in a room alone on the computer i like to put on songs and lip sync to them in the mirror with really emotional expressions..

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

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Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

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I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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Consider selling lots of books, games or DVDs when you have too many to fit perfectly on their shelf.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.