smoke marijuana

pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

Look at my poo before I flush it.

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

When looking for something you need, just walk in circles around the house until it appears.

place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

sing in the shower

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.