When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

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Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.