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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

When leaving a poop smear under the water in the toilet that doesn't get flushed away, I put a few pieces of toilet paper on the water surface to conceal it.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

Rub boogers under the arm rest on the couch.

Find something you dislike about your face/body and instantly compare it with every person you meet from then on

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

I'm in my twenties and still don't drive.

I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Stab myself on a daily basis

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Text random people saying I'm pregnant

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.