setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

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when baking cookies I eat waaayyy too much of the dough, to the point that I don't even want any of the cookies when I am finished baking them.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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I **** with no hands.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.