I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Can't seem to manage not throwing rocks into sea/river

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.