Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

jack off

clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.