When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

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I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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Has to cover up with a blanket, regardless of the temperature...

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.