Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

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Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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working out escape routes for each room in your house when you're alone, just in case

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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Breathe.

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Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.