Justin Beiber is a woman

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

being super bored at shool

Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

smoke marijuana

wipe your hands on your pants

Point your finger to the sky When your favorite comes on in the club or on the radio

Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

I push the door open with my stomach

Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.