poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Having gay sex

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when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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I really like taking shits.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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I scratch the scabs on my head whenever im bored

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.