When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

wen on this website go look at the most disliked

Has to cover up with a blanket, regardless of the temperature...

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.