When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

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Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

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Eat something to pass the time while I wait for my food in the microwave to be cooked.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.