I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When a song comes on that i hate on the radio, i sing along with it because i know the lyrics. (Example: something by Justtin bieber D:)

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Set Fire to the Rain

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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When I wait for something to load, I right click and then quickly try to drag a box around the right click box before it disappears. Then I try to right click and drag and see if I can outline the right click box before it appears.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.