I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Make hand gestures when talking on phone

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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act like people from movies or shows just because my life is that boring

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.