You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

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When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.