When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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When I'm in a car holding a handheld device (iPod, Cell Phone, etc.) I have a feeling I will randomly throw it out the open window. I would never do this, but I'm still afraid I might.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.