when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

Whenever another person sitting next to me at school doesn't push their chair in when they get up to leave, I do it for them because it looks more orderly.

When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

i make loud noises so before i fart people cant hear it.

turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

I cant ride a bike

Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.