Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

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whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.