imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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When you drop something and then drop it again as soon as you start picking it up

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Sometimes I wonder if my whole life is a hallucination and I'm actually in some padded room somewhere, talking to myself and staring into space while my real family mourns the fact that their daughter will never be able to live a real life...

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I scold or point at my electronics and tell them "No, bad!" whenever I push the wrong button or shut them off on accident.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

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When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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RAPE CHILDREN

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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When I get photographed with a flash and afterwards there is that little greenish dot in my vision, I keep trying to look at it directly, although I know that it's impossible

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When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

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I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

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I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.