Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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think about all of the things you would do if you were the only person on earth

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.