when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

thumb_up thumb_down -106

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -81

When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

thumb_up thumb_down +254

Eat something to pass the time while I wait for my food in the microwave to be cooked.

thumb_up thumb_down +135

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.