Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.