I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

when you can't think of anything to type you just type random letters. a;lsdfj;ldfkjsfasdfljf

thumb_up thumb_down -13

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Get freaked out when door bell or phone rings when you are doing something you are not supposed to.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

thumb_up thumb_down +909

when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

thumb_up thumb_down -23

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?

thumb_up thumb_down +1,410

Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Pee in a glass and pour it down the sink, if someone is using the bathroom already.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.