put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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I really enjoy taking a shit and dont really know why.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.