Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

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Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

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singing along to a song that you think you know the words to.. but you dont

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See the person you like at school, have a quick random sexual thought about them, le random boner appears, and you flip out in your mind

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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When im in a room alone on the computer i like to put on songs and lip sync to them in the mirror with really emotional expressions..

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Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.