I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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this is a terrible website and i hate you

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I piss in the bed every night

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.