Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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I constantly talk to myself.

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waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

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Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

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Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.