think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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I start doing some of the weird things I wouldn't have thought of doing if I hadn't I read them on this website.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.