cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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when you can't think of anything to type you just type random letters. a;lsdfj;ldfkjsfasdfljf

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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Get freaked out when door bell or phone rings when you are doing something you are not supposed to.

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.