For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

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When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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must have the tv volume set to an even number or feel weird

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Smoking in the shower.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.