I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

thumb_up thumb_down

In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

thumb_up thumb_down +126

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

thumb_up thumb_down -66

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

wen on this website go look at the most disliked

thumb_up thumb_down -73

When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down

Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Smelling food to see if its spicy.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.