When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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I like to burn candles in my room and some times I burn the hair on my arm and smell it afterwards

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.