masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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My hands are always so cold and clamy at school, when I go on dates, and when im with friends. But, of course, when im at home, they.are.normal. :l

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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whale sperm

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ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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I talk excessively loud in public sometimes so people can hear my opinions. I'm just hoping someone's eavesdropping because I like the fact that they might agree with me and that they get to see a little bit of who I am. I don't even know these people.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.