When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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jack off

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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Peeing in the shower

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.