Put toilet paper in the toilet before i poop so the water dosent splash

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

thumb_up thumb_down -20

SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Having small fingers and, regardless, still unable to click on the right thing when on the internet with a touch screen phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I hold my boobs if I'm running upstairs and not wearing a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +235

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

thumb_up thumb_down -75

really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

thumb_up thumb_down +702

When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

sometimes when I listen to a song while riding in the car I look out the window and pretend I'm in some angsty music video

thumb_up thumb_down -151

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I like to eat the crust on pizzas

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.