Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

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"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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Peeing in the shower

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.