Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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k. everyone

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other in the same way just to be fair to both hands

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.