forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.