Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

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Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.