from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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being super bored at school

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Say a word over and over until it sounds weird

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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Imagine yourself and friends as band members while listening to songs.

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Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Poo really loud

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.