k. everyone

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

I chew around the center of carrots.

Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other in the same way just to be fair to both hands

Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

i would air drum even if theres no music playing

Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.