I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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I have a phobia of incest

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other in the same way just to be fair to both hands

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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think that things u do aren't gross and when other people do them its disgusting

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.