when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

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When out I like to "people watch."

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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I like to poo while smoking.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.