Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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Spend way too much time on this website cause it makes you feel normal

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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i see almost everything as a sign

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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hallo

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.