Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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Smoking in the shower.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

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KICK THE CAN

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.