Wanting something so much. Getting it then wondering what to do next

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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R A P E Children

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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Look at a word and count the letters by 2's - continue counting the letters over and over by 2's until it comes out even at the end of the word.

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Seperate your food on you dinner plate

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.