sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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Point your finger to the sky When your favorite comes on in the club or on the radio

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

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Thinking about what other poeple are doing right now... Like someone solving world hunger and your sitting there playing games and having fun with friends that are nice and healthy.

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Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.