when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

I meow when my cat meows.

I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

fap

Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.