Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

Take baths

Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

masturbate quietly in my room.

Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

Pick giant boogers and eat them.

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.