Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

thumb_up thumb_down +380

when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Imagine yourself and friends as band members while listening to songs.

thumb_up thumb_down +344

Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Poo really loud

thumb_up thumb_down -47

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

thumb_up thumb_down +84

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

I don't read the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Tried to stuff yourself in the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +19

in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.