eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

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Giving my dog a massage.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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whenever im doing sumthing im not suppose to i feel like everybody knows what im doing

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refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

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Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

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When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.