- Things You Think Only You Do

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

Sometimes I look at a digital clock and try to force the numbers to change with the power of my mind.

Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

I rape small children ;).

Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

think that things u do aren't gross and when other people do them its disgusting

When I wanted to sit on chair or anything, I'll wipe them first, in case there is something sticked on them

Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

being super bored at shool

I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.