Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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When i am bored i go on the internet and i dont know what to do but as soon as i turn off my computer i come up with lots of fun things i could have done

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Watch the same movies over and over

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.