When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

Create a little story/scenario in your head abbout someone you like or want to meet, while lying to go to sleep.

right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

I piss in the bed every night

Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.