Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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Having leg bounce up and down for no reason at all.

Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

Sit there with my hand just resting down my pants casually when I'm alone. It's comfy!

When tapping, I always have to do the same pattern of taps, and I feel incomplete if I don't finish the pattern I started.

I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

Give a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down' based strictly on how much you like the number it will change it to.

Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

While listening to music, I imagine an insanely huge dance number to go along with it.

When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

i use dental dams

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.