When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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Create a little story/scenario in your head abbout someone you like or want to meet, while lying to go to sleep.

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

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I piss in the bed every night

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.