I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Breathe.

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I cant ride a bike

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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I vote thumb dlown the ones that i dong like

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if i put my shirt on backwards, instead of taking my shirt off and putting it on right, i pull my arms in and just spin my shirt.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.