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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

Only use the left earphone.

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

smoke marijuana

pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

Look at my poo before I flush it.

if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.