I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Post on this website, then give yourself the first thumbs up to kick-start your success.

thumb_up thumb_down +217

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

thumb_up thumb_down +86

saying long strings of unconnected words in your head and wondering if you just said something that noone else ever has

thumb_up thumb_down +267

Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

thumb_up thumb_down +360

Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

thumb_up thumb_down +699

Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

almost asleep and your body randomly jerks and scares you

thumb_up thumb_down -41

put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

thumb_up thumb_down +19

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.