Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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Pee in the shower

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

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On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.