It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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hallo

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Gotta sleep with a fan.

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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when two pictures look very similar, i go back and forth between them so it looks like they're moving

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Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.