Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

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Pee in my work garbage can.

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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Looking up 'How to tell if your crush likes you' to get assurance that he/she loves you

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I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.