when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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fap

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.