Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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Take baths

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Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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Pick giant boogers and eat them.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.