sometimes, i smell my own farts.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Make hand gestures when talking on phone

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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I put salt on buttered toast...

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Give a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down' based strictly on how much you like the number it will change it to.

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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i always fall in my imaginations. whenever i think of something, e.g me walking to my room, i'd fall on my way there. what's wrong with me.....

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Set Fire to the Rain

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.