Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

Imagine yourself and friends as band members while listening to songs.

Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

Poo really loud

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

I don't read the terms of service.

Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

Tried to stuff yourself in the fridge

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.