when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.