When i take off my watch before i go to sleep i smell my wrist.

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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Ur mum

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Any time I break something, I always try to put it back so it looks completely normal. That way, the next person who picks it up will have it break right in their hands… Thus becoming their fault... -Ikka

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.