Wanting something so much. Getting it then wondering what to do next

I don't read the terms of service.

Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

R A P E Children

I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

Look at a word and count the letters by 2's - continue counting the letters over and over by 2's until it comes out even at the end of the word.

Seperate your food on you dinner plate

When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.