Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

I really like taking shits.

when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

misread flashlight

I gotta get down of Friday

The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.