Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

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when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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I really like taking shits.

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when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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misread flashlight

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I gotta get down of Friday

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.