I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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I apologize, when i bump against things.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.