Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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hallo

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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Fart at home

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Think about blinking, and then realize that when you think about blinking, you can't stop thinking about blinking, and thus a 3-4 minute awkward blinking-fest begins.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.