Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

thumb_up thumb_down -71

When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled. -Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

thumb_up thumb_down -12

when looking for lost keys i return to the place they should be at least 5 times and look there

thumb_up thumb_down +231

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.