Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

thumb_up thumb_down -44

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

thumb_up thumb_down -151

Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

thumb_up thumb_down -21

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -41

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

thumb_up thumb_down -54

if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Tried to suck ur own penis

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I know how to type a ¿

thumb_up thumb_down -63

If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

thumb_up thumb_down -82

See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.