sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

Get exstremly sad or depressed whenever you think about something you did that was embarrassing or something you regret infront of someone when that person probably doesn't even remember it....

Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.