Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I pee in the shower.

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when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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When i'm in a classroom I think about all of the possible ways to save everyone if something bad happens.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.