Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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When on long car rides, I always look out the window and imagine a little man running alongside the car.

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hate Justin Bieber

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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Check this site often to see if anyone liked my comment or not...

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Sometimes I stay as still as I can and stare at myself in the mirror until it scares me and I freak out about who I am and why I'm living. I have to think of my family and memories to snap out of it.

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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I sometimes feel like I am the only one like me in this world

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.