sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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Get exstremly sad or depressed whenever you think about something you did that was embarrassing or something you regret infront of someone when that person probably doesn't even remember it....

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.