Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

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sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.