When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

I hit the frig after sex

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.