When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

get home from work and masturbate instantly

I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.