When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

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When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.