Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I hate being called "buddy".

thumb_up thumb_down -40

While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

thumb_up thumb_down -68

that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

thumb_up thumb_down -79

After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I have walked into a sliding glass door

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -58

whenever im doing sumthing im not suppose to i feel like everybody knows what im doing

thumb_up thumb_down +242

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

wipe the bottle lid before i drink because i dont whant to taste what the other person had in there mouth...

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.