Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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Throw mini celabration of clock says 11:11, 9:11 or anything ending in :00

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When you drop something and then drop it again as soon as you start picking it up

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When leaving a poop smear under the water in the toilet that doesn't get flushed away, I put a few pieces of toilet paper on the water surface to conceal it.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Think about breathing...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.