has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

thumb_up thumb_down -47

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

speak proper english

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

thumb_up thumb_down -37

close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -9

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -82

While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

log off the internet then think of something and go back on

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

thumb_up thumb_down -31

dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.