say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/

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Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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After watching a video of someone doing something tiring, I always feel tired in whichever body part they were using in the video

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.