dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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I cover my webcam on my when I fap in fear that someone/something is watching.

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I dip my pizza crust in soda

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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When im alone i have a conversation with myself

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Get that shiver when you're peeing.

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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to wake up from a nice dream than try to sleep again to finish it

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I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

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sometimes, i smell my own farts.

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.