Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -77

if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

when you bleed you suck your own blood

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

open the fridge A eat food B think

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.