Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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I pass by closed doors quickly and at least as far away as the door seems like it can open, because I always feel like someone's going to burst out, hitting me in the face with the door.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Create a little story/scenario in your head abbout someone you like or want to meet, while lying to go to sleep.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.