Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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While listening to songs, your always thinking of a situation to go along with it.

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I get mad at characters on tv and i shoot the screen with my Nerf gun

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

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grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.