Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.