Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

when i am in a long car ride i look out the window and imagine im in a sad music video

thumb_up thumb_down +269

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

thumb_up thumb_down +49

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Sometimes I toot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

thumb_up thumb_down -78

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.