Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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Fill up a glass, drink half, then fill it up again.

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Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

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Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

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Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

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I dip my pizza crust in soda

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.