collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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tell everyone that you think that mcdonalds is unhealthy and that you think there food is nasty but in reality you actually love it.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Think about things I should be doing with my life.

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rub the underside of your ear lobe to smell the odd smell.

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Get freaked out when door bell or phone rings when you are doing something you are not supposed to.

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Having gay sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.