Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.