When listening to music I imagine myself and people in a movie scene that fits the music.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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scripting the blackboard with your fingernails? no problem, but just the imagination of biting on an ice cream stick out of wood and then moving it through your teeth makes me go crazy!

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.