pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

fap

Sit there with my hand just resting down my pants casually when I'm alone. It's comfy!

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

Look at my poo before I flush it.

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.