I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

humiliating little girls

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.