When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

get caught up in youtube comment arguments

Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

try to give your friends spirit animals

Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

Drinking and dialing people I dated.

I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

Pee in the shower.

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.