I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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humiliating little girls

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.