when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Whenever i wear long sleeves i always hold onto the sleeves with my ring and pinkie fingers.

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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I always cry when I pray.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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speak proper english

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.