I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Courtesy flush.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Thinking about how fast you blink and how many times you have blinked. You then start blinking too much because you are thinling about yourself blinking, and you try to stop, but you can't stop thinking about it.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Turning on the TV for background noise when I'm on my computer.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.