When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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Tried to suck ur own penis

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

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Look at a word and count the letters by 2's - continue counting the letters over and over by 2's until it comes out even at the end of the word.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.