Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

misread flashlight

I gotta get down of Friday

Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

I don't read the terms of service.

turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.