pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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fap

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Sit there with my hand just resting down my pants casually when I'm alone. It's comfy!

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.