Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Randomly think odd scenarios in your head and say if that happened this is what i would do and then forget about it the next day

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Get longingly desperate feeling for days/weeks after a concert of my favorite band.

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Courtesy flush.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.