Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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Dancing while hoovering

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When I see interactive ads on webpages ( "Shoot 5 iPhones And Get One Free!" type of windows ), I feel compelled to finish the task, even though I KNOW it's going to open a pop-up and waste 10 seconds of my life.

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sing in the shower

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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Always think "what if ghosts really ARE everywhere?" when I'm naked in the shower, or getting dressed, or any other private and/or embarrassing moment. Then get really freaked out and picture 6 people from 1902 watching you.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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When you drop something and then drop it again as soon as you start picking it up

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Throw mini celabration of clock says 11:11, 9:11 or anything ending in :00

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.