I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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Spend way too much time on this website cause it makes you feel normal

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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hallo

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.