Breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

thumb_up thumb_down -31

always check thde back seat before starting the car

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

Peeing in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +119

i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Fart at home

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.