Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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think that things u do aren't gross and when other people do them its disgusting

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I scold or point at my electronics and tell them "No, bad!" whenever I push the wrong button or shut them off on accident.

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

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Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.