I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.