Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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i run my 2 fingers across a wall like they're ninja feet when im happy.

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Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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I daydream about what would happen if my phone rang in public and I had a ringtone of a cool song and what people think about the song and if they think I'm cool for it, or if they see some sort of symbolic meaning in the song. I do this while pacing around my room listening to the song. I think about what people I know would think about certain lyrics in the song. I do this all the time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.