Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

i run my 2 fingers across a wall like they're ninja feet when im happy.

Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

I daydream about what would happen if my phone rang in public and I had a ringtone of a cool song and what people think about the song and if they think I'm cool for it, or if they see some sort of symbolic meaning in the song. I do this while pacing around my room listening to the song. I think about what people I know would think about certain lyrics in the song. I do this all the time.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.