If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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Spend way too much time on this website cause it makes you feel normal

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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hallo

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.