I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

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mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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incognito mode on google chrome

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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When I'm reading a story in English class or a book in general but I'm tired while doing so and I'm reading on down the page, if I read a sentence and miss a word or mispronounce a word I MUST go back and re read the entire sentence until I have read it correctly or I feel very weird and panicked.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.