If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.