I ejaculate fire and glory

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

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I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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While listening to music, I imagine an insanely huge dance number to go along with it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.