I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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whale sperm

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Only use the left earphone.

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I scratch the scabs on my head whenever im bored

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.