I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

whale sperm

When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

Only use the left earphone.

I scratch the scabs on my head whenever im bored

Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.