When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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I stare at the paint impasto on the ceiling until I see faces.

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waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

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Be a loner at school

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.