Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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When I have to use my hands to eat my steak, chew the bones etc (do not tell me that so far this is weird and unusual :P ) I wipe my fingers after each touch => use a whole pack of table tissues :D

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Poo really loud

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Reading the things people post on here and realising your not as weird as you thought.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.