When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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When listening to music I imagine myself and people in a movie scene that fits the music.

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While listening to songs, your always thinking of a situation to go along with it.

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

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whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.