Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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Tried to suck ur own penis

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Pee in the shower

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I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

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I know how to type a ¿

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.