I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Always cover yourself in the bathroom mirror at home because you have this strange feeling that people at school are all watching you through your mirror~pls tell me im not the only one who ever feels this~oh well

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Ur mum

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

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RAPE CHILDREN

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Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Wrap up inside a sleeping bag and slide down the steps.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.