Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

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Counting the lines on the street as they pass the edge of your cars window.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.