For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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When I see myself in the mirror, I have to make a funny face just to make sure my face still works.

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If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Sometimes I beat box when I am alone.

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Turning on the TV for background noise when I'm on my computer.

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

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Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

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Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

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After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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working out escape routes for each room in your house when you're alone, just in case

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.