I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

i smoke weed all day.

thumb_up thumb_down -314

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Walking around near loud music and begin to feel like your walking to the beat.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Courtesy flush.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -79

If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

thumb_up thumb_down -16

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.