whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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i use dental dams

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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i masturbate with my feet

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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sit in the shower

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The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.