Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Picking my nose.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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I talk excessively loud in public sometimes so people can hear my opinions. I'm just hoping someone's eavesdropping because I like the fact that they might agree with me and that they get to see a little bit of who I am. I don't even know these people.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.