Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

I eat one way in public and another way in private.

When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

whale sperm

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

I tell inanimate objects what to do.

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

Sometimes I stay as still as I can and stare at myself in the mirror until it scares me and I freak out about who I am and why I'm living. I have to think of my family and memories to snap out of it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.