Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

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I put salt on buttered toast...

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Picking my nose.

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.