Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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Sometimes I toot.

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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Sometimes when im lost in thought I twirl a piece of my bangs and stare off in a daze.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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I never read the Terms of Service. I just click "OK"

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.