Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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R A P E Children

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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fart

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.