Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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I read the down voted posts

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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i use dental dams

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.