im going to rape that girl

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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When I walk into the bathroom and the lid of toilet is closed, I always get slightly nervous to lift it up and see into the toilet. I'm always thinking there'll be something disgusting or scary in there.

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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Give your neighbors names from movies.

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I control water in the shower.

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I scold or point at my electronics and tell them "No, bad!" whenever I push the wrong button or shut them off on accident.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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conundrum.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.