I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other in the same way just to be fair to both hands

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I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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I can't brush my teeth with the toilet lid up.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.