get home from work and masturbate instantly

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When im alone i have a conversation with myself

thumb_up thumb_down +1,524

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,220

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I rape small children ;).

thumb_up thumb_down -271

blow nose. look at kleenex.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

On an one night if I come too fast .je persuade the girl that I have to forget my cellular in my automobile and I get out

thumb_up thumb_down -72

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -76

even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,730

smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

thumb_up thumb_down +2,708

I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

thumb_up thumb_down +2,888

People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

thumb_up thumb_down +1,720

When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -787

Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.