Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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whale sperm

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Sometimes I stay as still as I can and stare at myself in the mirror until it scares me and I freak out about who I am and why I'm living. I have to think of my family and memories to snap out of it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.