After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

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Hate Skydoesminecraft.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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make food scream if i chop them up.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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suck my own penis

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.