I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

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Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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sometimes i sing and when i do , i make drum sounds with my teeth and you know, all that stuff

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While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

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sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.