in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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call someone by a siblings name.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Rub boogers under the arm rest on the couch.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.