make food scream if i chop them up.

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I have seen a UFO

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Pee in the shower.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Hate Skydoesminecraft.

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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fap

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Sit there with my hand just resting down my pants casually when I'm alone. It's comfy!

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.