when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.