When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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when two pictures look very similar, i go back and forth between them so it looks like they're moving

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When I see interactive ads on webpages ( "Shoot 5 iPhones And Get One Free!" type of windows ), I feel compelled to finish the task, even though I KNOW it's going to open a pop-up and waste 10 seconds of my life.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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I cover my webcam on my when I fap in fear that someone/something is watching.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.