I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Whenever I'm home alone, I listen to songs from my culture like Ella Ella, Taboo, or Sexy Robotica by Don Omar or other fun dancing songs, super loud and dance crazy and sing along as loud as I can. Any one else?

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When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.