When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Whenever i wear long sleeves i always hold onto the sleeves with my ring and pinkie fingers.

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When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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When I'm opening my locker lock, I try to beat the person next to me.

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I hold my boobs if I'm running upstairs and not wearing a bra.

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Imagine yourself and friends as band members while listening to songs.

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When I die during an online game I try to cram as much food and drink in my mouth as I can before I respawn. If I have no food I roll all over the bed.

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I rape small children ;).

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Sometimes I look at a digital clock and try to force the numbers to change with the power of my mind.

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When my soap is running low, I add water to it.

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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I constantly talk to myself.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.