When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.