when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.