Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Never using a 0 or a 5 as the last digit while using a microwave.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.