sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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act like people from movies or shows just because my life is that boring

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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join online argument even though you have no idea what the argument is about

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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Play Minecraft

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.