Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.