when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.