Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.