When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

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scripting the blackboard with your fingernails? no problem, but just the imagination of biting on an ice cream stick out of wood and then moving it through your teeth makes me go crazy!

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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Sit there with my hand just resting down my pants casually when I'm alone. It's comfy!

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.