Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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try to find this website, but type in "thingsonlyyouthinkyoudo" or "thingsyouonlythinkyoudo" .. give up.. then google it instead.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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I have seen a UFO

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.