When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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I read the down voted posts

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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i use dental dams

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.