Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Never using a 0 or a 5 as the last digit while using a microwave.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Boinked my neighbor

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.