When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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i see almost everything as a sign

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.