Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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When im alone i have a conversation with myself

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

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jack off

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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Create a little story/scenario in your head abbout someone you like or want to meet, while lying to go to sleep.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.