I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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make south park refferences every day

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.