Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Okay, so. I have this weird habit I've had for like a year now, and it's that I always have to touch things an even amount of times and touch them with the other had the same amount of times. I read it's OCD, which I sometimes experience symptoms of, but this one sticks out. Is this normal? What should I do? Should I ask if I do have OCD?

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other in the same way just to be fair to both hands

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When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.