Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Being from another country and always thinking in english.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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when your walking past a chain link fence you slide your fingers along it because it feels cool

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.