When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

I put big spaces in between comments

When my soap is running low, I add water to it.

After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

I ejaculate fire and glory

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.