Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

thumb_up thumb_down -84

mindlessly touch my laptop or desktop PC's screen after having just used a tablet.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

thumb_up thumb_down -78

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down

no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

thumb_up thumb_down +1,369

I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

thumb_up thumb_down +317

I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

thumb down this post

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

RAPE CHILDREN

thumb_up thumb_down -102

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.