At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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Imagine yourself and friends as band members while listening to songs.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.