If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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think about all of the things you would do if you were the only person on earth

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I pass by closed doors quickly and at least as far away as the door seems like it can open, because I always feel like someone's going to burst out, hitting me in the face with the door.

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Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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When I see interactive ads on webpages ( "Shoot 5 iPhones And Get One Free!" type of windows ), I feel compelled to finish the task, even though I KNOW it's going to open a pop-up and waste 10 seconds of my life.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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I think I have superpowers and sometimes I try to use them by force, like lifting a pencil with my mind or elevate from the ground.

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i smoke weed all day.

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Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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When no one's at home, the house turns into an action movie set. Going to my room turns into sprinting up the stairs and purposely stumbling to give the effect that bombs are going off. And always make it to the room in time to hop on the last helicopter out of the jungle.

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Know all the lyrics to a song but then realize you never actually "listened" to the song to see what it's about

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.