Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.