Dancing while hoovering

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Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

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draw little triangles while coulouring in to make it seem that theres not so much work -jesse

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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That microscopic flying things that follows my eyes' motion, especially when i look up in the sky.

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Whenever i wear long sleeves i always hold onto the sleeves with my ring and pinkie fingers.

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dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

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When I have to use my hands to eat my steak, chew the bones etc (do not tell me that so far this is weird and unusual :P ) I wipe my fingers after each touch => use a whole pack of table tissues :D

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.