put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

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When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.