Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

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Tried to suck ur own penis

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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I know how to type a ¿

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If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.