When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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refuse to like a post because the number is too perfect and you don't want to screw it up

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Scared to flush the tolite at friends houses in fear that i will wake someone up of break the tolite.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.