I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I type things i really want to say to people and then delete them straight away because im too chicken to say it.

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Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Never using a 0 or a 5 as the last digit while using a microwave.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Boinked my neighbor

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.