Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Pee in the shower

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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When i take off my watch before i go to sleep i smell my wrist.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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Think about breathing...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.