Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

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Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.