Having to step on snails to hear the crunch

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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Pee in the shower.

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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I aphabeticalize my shoes

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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draw the sun at the corner of the page

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.