Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

Pee in the shower

i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

after a shower, try to shake the water off.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

When i take off my watch before i go to sleep i smell my wrist.

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

Think about breathing...

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.