When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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I put big spaces in between comments

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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Whenever i wear long sleeves i always hold onto the sleeves with my ring and pinkie fingers.

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.