I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Wrap up inside a sleeping bag and slide down the steps.

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

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http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.