Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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My hands are always so cold and clamy at school, when I go on dates, and when im with friends. But, of course, when im at home, they.are.normal. :l

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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whale sperm

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.