Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

i always think people can hear my thoughts.

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

Sitting down in the shower

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.