Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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When I walk into the bathroom and the lid of toilet is closed, I always get slightly nervous to lift it up and see into the toilet. I'm always thinking there'll be something disgusting or scary in there.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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try to find this website, but type in "thingsonlyyouthinkyoudo" or "thingsyouonlythinkyoudo" .. give up.. then google it instead.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.