wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.