That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

misread dig bick

I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

I eat food when i'm bored..

i see almost everything as a sign

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Eat ice by itself

get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

When I was younger I started doing a weird habit of playing music and spinning around in circles in my room... .. I still do it to this day.

Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.