Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Pretending I'm in a phone call when I don't want someone to talk to me.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.