When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

thumb_up thumb_down -17

give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Find different ways to crack your knuckles when you're bored. (I have found 7 ways to crack a finger and I can crackj my hand back

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When walking on an old looking bridge I try to get off quickly and before anyone else gets on there because all I can think about is it giving way and me falling to my death/being very wet

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

thumb_up thumb_down -110

I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When leaving a poop smear under the water in the toilet that doesn't get flushed away, I put a few pieces of toilet paper on the water surface to conceal it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

tell everyone that you think that mcdonalds is unhealthy and that you think there food is nasty but in reality you actually love it.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

thumb_up thumb_down -74

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

dream about the most amazing guy/girl that you have a relationship with and hope it comes true

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I sometimes feel like I am the only one like me in this world

thumb_up thumb_down -39

pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.