Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Set Fire to the Rain

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Go outside and pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.