wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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I walk into a room and forget why I'm in there.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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I gotta get down of Friday

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.