That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

thumb_up thumb_down -37

turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -97

See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

misread dig bick

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I eat food when i'm bored..

thumb_up thumb_down +99

i see almost everything as a sign

thumb_up thumb_down -68

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -111

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Eat ice by itself

thumb_up thumb_down -52

get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

thumb_up thumb_down +65

When I was younger I started doing a weird habit of playing music and spinning around in circles in my room... .. I still do it to this day.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.