strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Change my music to something cooler than the song im listening to when i pass by other kids my age

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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I hit the frig after sex

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Look at my poop before flushing

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.