close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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I want to suck on your penis

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.