Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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I chew on anything plastic. I don't think there's a pen that I haven't chewed on or a plastic cap I haven't put in my mouth. It's a horrible habit but it feels so DAMN GOOD TO CHEW!

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Walking around near loud music and begin to feel like your walking to the beat.

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Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

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I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Vote for the other guy

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

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Pretend to listen to iPod, but actually eavesdrop on the people around me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.