Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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hallo

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.