When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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tell everyone that you think that mcdonalds is unhealthy and that you think there food is nasty but in reality you actually love it.

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Pee in the shower

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

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I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

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Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

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I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.