sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.