Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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scripting the blackboard with your fingernails? no problem, but just the imagination of biting on an ice cream stick out of wood and then moving it through your teeth makes me go crazy!

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.