When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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Boinked my neighbor

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Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Not get any thumb ups on a post. Turns out there really are some things only I do...

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Answering questions that weren't directed at me, then awkwardly playing it off like they were talking to you.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.