imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand

Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

While waiting on someone I check my phone and if there is no new message I just read old ones, just to be occupied and don't look stupid or lost

Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Sitting next to a banana called James

Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

When I'm in a car holding a handheld device (iPod, Cell Phone, etc.) I have a feeling I will randomly throw it out the open window. I would never do this, but I'm still afraid I might.

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

I scold or point at my electronics and tell them "No, bad!" whenever I push the wrong button or shut them off on accident.

Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.