Play as both sides on fifa

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

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i eat choclate buns on easter for breakfast lunch and dinner.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.