Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

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close left eye, then right eye to see how things move....

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When I'm watching a youtube video, I worry about how much time is left because I'm concerned the video maker won't wrap it up in time before the video ends.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Watch the same movies over and over

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.