when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

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squezzing moisturisure/tooth paste really hard cos the top is all dry and then a shit load comes out all at once

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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I pretend that someone can see through my eyes whenever I'm doing something cool, i guess so they think I'm cooler or something.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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I chew my ice cream.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.