Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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When I walk into the bathroom and the lid of toilet is closed, I always get slightly nervous to lift it up and see into the toilet. I'm always thinking there'll be something disgusting or scary in there.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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try to find this website, but type in "thingsonlyyouthinkyoudo" or "thingsyouonlythinkyoudo" .. give up.. then google it instead.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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That microscopic flying things that follows my eyes' motion, especially when i look up in the sky.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

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Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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wonder who wrote these things

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being super bored at shool

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.