When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -68

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

thumb_up thumb_down -50

When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +187

Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Start to tell a story, but realize that nobody is bothering to listen to you.. So you slowly let your voice fade off

thumb_up thumb_down +53

When I'm bored I argue with myself inside my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I can only play a piano with my right hand

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

thumb_up thumb_down -37

get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Type in 'things you thought only you did' and find this site. Then smile stupidly and click thumbs up everytime you read something you thought only you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.