Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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jack off

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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Peeing in the shower

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Breathe.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.