Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

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fap

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.