when i get pissed off at someone i go to an empty room and then imagine killing them

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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I never feel bored

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k. everyone

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

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I daydream about what would happen if my phone rang in public and I had a ringtone of a cool song and what people think about the song and if they think I'm cool for it, or if they see some sort of symbolic meaning in the song. I do this while pacing around my room listening to the song. I think about what people I know would think about certain lyrics in the song. I do this all the time.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.