Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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Post on this website, then give yourself the first thumbs up to kick-start your success.

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Eat something to pass the time while I wait for my food in the microwave to be cooked.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.