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Any time I shop for used clothes, I always have to ask, “Did anybody die in this?” –Ikka
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-48
when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.
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-80
When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......
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+39
When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.
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-51
Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.
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-4
Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)
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-79
I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\
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-60
scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good
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-88
At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.
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-51
when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better
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-16
Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.
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-47
i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
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-12
Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.
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-41
Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles
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-53
I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.
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-1
Go on this site to feel normal.
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-15
Try to pet your cat with your foot.
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-41
Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.
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-9
When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.
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+71
I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.
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+1
When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.
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+1,100
If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.
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+719
When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall
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-46
Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards
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-35
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.