when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.