Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.