Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When im alone i have a conversation with myself

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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Find different ways to crack your knuckles when you're bored. (I have found 7 ways to crack a finger and I can crackj my hand back

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Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.