outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Pee in a glass and pour it down the sink, if someone is using the bathroom already.

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watch raindrops race down a window and see which one wins

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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Can't seem to manage not throwing rocks into sea/river

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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Wrap up inside a sleeping bag and slide down the steps.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.