When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Spinning around to get dizzy, then spinning the other way to try and undo it.

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When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

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When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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Thinking about how fast you blink and how many times you have blinked. You then start blinking too much because you are thinling about yourself blinking, and you try to stop, but you can't stop thinking about it.

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.