- Things You Think Only You Do

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

Pretend i'm a sim.

listen to madonnas new album

When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.