Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

incognito mode on google chrome

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.