I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.