See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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I always cry when I pray.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Having gay sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.