Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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I chew my ice cream.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

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I have an irrational fear of sloths

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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While reading these posts on here, I find that I do a lot of weird things that I've never really thought about.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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Cry every day just because it makes you feel better.

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.