After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

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I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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Pee in the shower.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.