I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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Being fat

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Forgets something then walks into the room to get it then forgets what you forgot nikki

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When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.