Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

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Tried to suck ur own penis

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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I know how to type a ¿

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If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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Smoking in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.