When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

thumb_up thumb_down +255

Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

thumb_up thumb_down +610

When one of those sad sappy abused dogs commercials comes on, you change the channel really fast to prevent from crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Dancing while hoovering

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

thumb_up thumb_down -80

I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

draw little triangles while coulouring in to make it seem that theres not so much work -jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +56

I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

That microscopic flying things that follows my eyes' motion, especially when i look up in the sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whenever i wear long sleeves i always hold onto the sleeves with my ring and pinkie fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +225

dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

thumb_up thumb_down -40

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Feels my beard with my tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

When I have to use my hands to eat my steak, chew the bones etc (do not tell me that so far this is weird and unusual :P ) I wipe my fingers after each touch => use a whole pack of table tissues :D

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.