wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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i make loud noises so before i fart people cant hear it.

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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I scratch the scabs on my head whenever im bored

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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When I have to use my hands to eat my steak, chew the bones etc (do not tell me that so far this is weird and unusual :P ) I wipe my fingers after each touch => use a whole pack of table tissues :D

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.