I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

thumb_up thumb_down -65

I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

thumb_up thumb_down +151

Waking up from a really bad dream that you thought was real and then thinking about it all day worried that it actually happened

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

ASMR

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Avoid as many television commercials as I can

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,502

I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,692

When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I think about life problems in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +2,426

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.