Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +82

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

incognito mode on google chrome

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

thumb_up thumb_down +15

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

thumb_up thumb_down -32

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.