I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

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Eat ice by itself

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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when something is lost you check the spot they or it should be at least 5 to 10 times

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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I really enjoy taking a shit and dont really know why.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.