Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Set Fire to the Rain

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Go outside and pee.

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.