Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

i see almost everything as a sign

looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

Your mom

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.