Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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i see almost everything as a sign

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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Your mom

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.