I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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fap

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.