- Things You Think Only You Do

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

Tried to stuff yourself in the fridge

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

Having leg bounce up and down for no reason at all.

Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

when baking cookies I eat waaayyy too much of the dough, to the point that I don't even want any of the cookies when I am finished baking them.

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

make south park refferences every day

Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.