When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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After going to the bathroom, flush the toilet than hurry out of the bathroom and walk fast past a certain line going across the floor or make an imaginary line on the floor before the toilet fully flushes.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.