After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

when i realise for example that my shoes are stinking i get really paranoid and try to cover them under the table or something because i feel that everyone is thinking about it or is covering their nose or stuff

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

Get that shiver when you're peeing.

Be a loner at school

When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

When eating skittles and share it with my friends, i gave them the flavors that i dont really like.

Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.