While listening to music, I imagine an insanely huge dance number to go along with it.

For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

When tapping, I always have to do the same pattern of taps, and I feel incomplete if I don't finish the pattern I started.

I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

when I'm walking i always try to step over the cracks with the same foot every time

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

When I'm stressed, I pick at the skin on my head and pull white flakes out of my hair. There's nothing more satisfying to me than that.

Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.