I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Go back to the song if I don't here what they sang Kay

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

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losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.