When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Point your finger to the sky When your favorite comes on in the club or on the radio

I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.