Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.