When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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blink

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.

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close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.