While listening to music, I imagine an insanely huge dance number to go along with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +240

For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

thumb_up thumb_down +356

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

thumb_up thumb_down +294

Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When tapping, I always have to do the same pattern of taps, and I feel incomplete if I don't finish the pattern I started.

thumb_up thumb_down +205

I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

when I'm walking i always try to step over the cracks with the same foot every time

thumb_up thumb_down -70

??2????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

thumb_up thumb_down -54

In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

thumb_up thumb_down

When I'm stressed, I pick at the skin on my head and pull white flakes out of my hair. There's nothing more satisfying to me than that.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.