- Things You Think Only You Do

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

I ejaculate fire and glory

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

I really don't know what to do when i see a double post on here. I mean, i get that people like to do stuff with their feet when their in bed, but somehow al lot of these people do not find it enough to vote up an existing post.

When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.