Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Wonder why there are sites like this.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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fap

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.