when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

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when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

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I pass by closed doors quickly and at least as far away as the door seems like it can open, because I always feel like someone's going to burst out, hitting me in the face with the door.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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smoke marijuana

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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When I'm riding in a car, i squeeze my toes everytime the car passes a dotted line in the road or when theres a curb

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Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

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when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Make funny fish faces and noises in the mirror just because... Oh yeah, and fish totally make noise, right?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.