When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Mayada stupid

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Only use the left earphone.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.