If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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Only use the left earphone.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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hallo

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.