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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.
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-135
Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.
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-98
Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.
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+14
i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.
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+1
Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.
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-8
Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.
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-54
Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)
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+3
Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd
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-30
Having to step on snails to hear the crunch
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+59
trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.
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-23
feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.
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-37
Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"
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-22
Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn
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-54
Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"
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+33
to wake up from a nice dream than try to sleep again to finish it
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+1,671
Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.
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+56
Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.
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-6
When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.
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+1,225
Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.
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-38
Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset
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-45
Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?
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-61
Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.
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+145
Made after doomsday plans
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-36
Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers
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-6
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.