R A P E Children

I rehearse arguments in my head.

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

On an one night if I come too fast .je persuade the girl that I have to forget my cellular in my automobile and I get out

I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.