when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Breathe.

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wonder who wrote these things

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Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Wanting something so much. Getting it then wondering what to do next

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.