When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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scripting the blackboard with your fingernails? no problem, but just the imagination of biting on an ice cream stick out of wood and then moving it through your teeth makes me go crazy!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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I aphabeticalize my shoes

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Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.