In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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I want to suck on your penis

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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jack off

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My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.