when you bleed you suck your own blood

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

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When your sitting on the toilet you watch a video,or read something on your ipod/ipad/etc

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You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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jack off

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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i use dental dams

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.