Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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listen to madonnas new album

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.