when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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while taking a bath, I imagine my knees, belly, arms etc poking out of the water are islands, and i imagine little people running around on them

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Watch the same movies over and over

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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On the bus think in your mind "I know you're reading my mind right now," and look for reactions.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.