Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Say a word I just learned over and over again until it loses meaning.

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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When out I like to "people watch."

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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fall asleep in the shower.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.