When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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sing like a pro in da shower

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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Turn on the faucet and/or fan when using the toilet at someone else's house or at my own place when there is a visitor because I don't want them to hear me peeing.

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.