Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.