When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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Talk to my cat.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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At the store then mom leaves to get something then u start panicking as the cashier begins paying and you thing she will charge yo already

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Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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After watching a video of someone doing something tiring, I always feel tired in whichever body part they were using in the video

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While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.