When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Breathe.

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Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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suck my own penis

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waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

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Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.