Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.