look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

I hold my breath in elevators

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

Peeing in the shower

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

Having to step on snails to hear the crunch

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.