sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Eat ice by itself

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.