When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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im going to rape that girl

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Scared to flush the tolite at friends houses in fear that i will wake someone up of break the tolite.

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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whale sperm

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.