Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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I meow when my cat meows.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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Spinning around to get dizzy, then spinning the other way to try and undo it.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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Randomly think odd scenarios in your head and say if that happened this is what i would do and then forget about it the next day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.