I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.