When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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misread flashlight

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read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

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KICK THE CAN

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When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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close left eye, then right eye to see how things move....

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.