Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

Avoid as many television commercials as I can

When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

Every time i get a new video game i read the back of the case and the pamphlet the whole ride home

I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.