Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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That microscopic flying things that follows my eyes' motion, especially when i look up in the sky.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

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Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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wonder who wrote these things

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being super bored at shool

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.