I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe when showering

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

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Wonder if someone is ever doing the exact same thing you are at the moment.

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.