When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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If I'm doing something that involves two ppl i race even if the other person doesn't know it and if i win i get a huge ass grin which is awkward sometimes

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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Sometimes I wonder if my whole life is a hallucination and I'm actually in some padded room somewhere, talking to myself and staring into space while my real family mourns the fact that their daughter will never be able to live a real life...

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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For some reason I really love to be hated on horsehead network, no idea why, stopped questioning it moments ago... Moral: Know what I mean?

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.