i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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I chew on anything plastic. I don't think there's a pen that I haven't chewed on or a plastic cap I haven't put in my mouth. It's a horrible habit but it feels so DAMN GOOD TO CHEW!

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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See the person you like at school, have a quick random sexual thought about them, le random boner appears, and you flip out in your mind

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Tried to suck ur own penis

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.