you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

Any time I shop for used clothes, I always have to ask, “Did anybody die in this?” –Ikka

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.