When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Start to tell a story, but realize that nobody is bothering to listen to you.. So you slowly let your voice fade off

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

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When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.