When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I can see a magic eye image

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Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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penis

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Too lazy to exercise. Think to self "I'm gonna work out tomorrow." - instantly feel better about self. Still didn't exercise.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.