Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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Smoking in the shower.

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Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Any time I break something, I always try to put it back so it looks completely normal. That way, the next person who picks it up will have it break right in their hands… Thus becoming their fault... -Ikka

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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when im losing an argument, ill start singing my responses

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On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

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feel special if I don't get thumbs up on my posts

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.