I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.