when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Vote for the other guy

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.