When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

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Get freaked out when door bell or phone rings when you are doing something you are not supposed to.

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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Be a loner at school

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.