When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

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While watching a movie, I imagine that same movie in my mind only replacing the characters with different ones from other series or videogames that I like. It just seems to make the movie better.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.