wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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I push the door open with my stomach

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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misread dig bick

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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Always think "what if ghosts really ARE everywhere?" when I'm naked in the shower, or getting dressed, or any other private and/or embarrassing moment. Then get really freaked out and picture 6 people from 1902 watching you.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.