Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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blink

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

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close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

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you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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incognito mode on google chrome

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.