I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

thumb_up thumb_down +4

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -62

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I'm in my twenties and still don't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

thumb_up thumb_down -7

get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I'm really picky about how I earn money

thumb_up thumb_down -58

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.