Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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wonder who wrote these things

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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being super bored at school

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.