Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Sometimes I look at a digital clock and try to force the numbers to change with the power of my mind.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

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i use dental dams

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.