I have tons of imaginary conversations in my head with people I know, but they never happen. It's worse when something funny happens in the imaginary conversation and I laugh to myself, and if someone notices I can't even say that I was remembering something because I wasn't, it had never happened...

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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While reading these posts on here, I find that I do a lot of weird things that I've never really thought about.

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Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.

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Sometimes I wonder if my whole life is a hallucination and I'm actually in some padded room somewhere, talking to myself and staring into space while my real family mourns the fact that their daughter will never be able to live a real life...

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

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I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.