I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

thumb_up thumb_down +1,400

Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +524

I pee in the shower. :3

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.