Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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penis

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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I get mad at characters on tv and i shoot the screen with my Nerf gun

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.