Brake for tail-gaters

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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whale sperm

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.