getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.