when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.