I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.