Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

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Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

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Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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Think about things I should be doing with my life.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.