I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

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Picking my nose.

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

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Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.