While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

Pretend my life is a videogame.

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

After texting someone, check your phone repeatedly to see if they responded

I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.