Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

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when two pictures look very similar, i go back and forth between them so it looks like they're moving

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.