Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

Think about things I should be doing with my life.

get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.