I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

Picking my nose.

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.