Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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singing along to a song that you think you know the words to.. but you dont

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.