I can only play a piano with my right hand

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

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I get mad at characters on tv and i shoot the screen with my Nerf gun

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I read the down voted posts

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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when your walking past a chain link fence you slide your fingers along it because it feels cool

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Lie in bed and wonder what happens whe you die, get depressed and come on this site for reassurance

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.