When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other in the same way just to be fair to both hands

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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whale sperm

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Talk to my cat.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.