I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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fap

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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I vote thumb dlown the ones that i dong like

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Any time I shop for used clothes, I always have to ask, “Did anybody die in this?” –Ikka

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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stare at the same gender for a long time and think 2 urself "am i gay?" and when they look at you, you tun ur eyes another way!

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.