laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

blow nose. look at kleenex.

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

Get turned on lookin at my own butt

I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.