When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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I was the real Stig...

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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make food scream if i chop them up.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Pee in the shower.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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I chew on anything plastic. I don't think there's a pen that I haven't chewed on or a plastic cap I haven't put in my mouth. It's a horrible habit but it feels so DAMN GOOD TO CHEW!

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close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

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Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

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Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

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When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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After watching a video of someone doing something tiring, I always feel tired in whichever body part they were using in the video

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.