Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Take baths

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Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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When on long car rides, I always look out the window and imagine a little man running alongside the car.

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whenever im doing sumthing im not suppose to i feel like everybody knows what im doing

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled. -Ikka

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.