When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

I never turn in a complete circle. If I did, I would have to turn around in the other direction to "erase" the first circle

I find it really hard to not respond a insulting youtube comment with a hopefully even bigger insult.

When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

whale sperm

get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.