Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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Brake for tail-gaters

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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On true/false sections of tests, I get paranoid if there are not the same amount of trues and falses.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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When I'm watching a youtube video, I worry about how much time is left because I'm concerned the video maker won't wrap it up in time before the video ends.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.