Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.