I refuse to forward chain letters

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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fap

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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Poo really loud

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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After watching a video of someone doing something tiring, I always feel tired in whichever body part they were using in the video

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.