I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Having to step on snails to hear the crunch

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.