i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I get into a massive fight with my parents, and then do the thing i was told not to just so i can tick them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

I pretend that someone can see through my eyes whenever I'm doing something cool, i guess so they think I'm cooler or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +205

I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +521

I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +353

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

thumb_up thumb_down -147

Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

bounce when your tip toeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.