When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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sing in the shower

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

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feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

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log off the internet then think of something and go back on

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.