Believing in the kindness of strangers

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When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

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Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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think about all of the things you would do if you were the only person on earth

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.