- Things You Think Only You Do

Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

I dip my pizza crust in soda

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

Get that shiver when you're peeing.

feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

sometimes, i smell my own farts.

My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

Locking your pet in the room and forcing it to spend time with you.

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.