I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Mayada stupid

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Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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Look at a word and count the letters by 2's - continue counting the letters over and over by 2's until it comes out even at the end of the word.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.