trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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sit in the shower

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wipe the bottle lid before i drink because i dont whant to taste what the other person had in there mouth...

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.