I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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I put big spaces in between comments

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When my soap is running low, I add water to it.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.