if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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I think about other women when having sex

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Go outside and pee.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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You keep going through pages of "Things You Think Only You Do" clicking the button until you realize that your on like page 50.

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Laugh harder when trying to explain what you are laughing about

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.