I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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I put salt on buttered toast...

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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Wonder why there are sites like this.

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Take baths

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.