When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

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in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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When walking on an old looking bridge I try to get off quickly and before anyone else gets on there because all I can think about is it giving way and me falling to my death/being very wet

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Set Fire to the Rain

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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act like people from movies or shows just because my life is that boring

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.