I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled. -Ikka

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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almost asleep and your body randomly jerks and scares you

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.