Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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Pretend to listen to iPod, but actually eavesdrop on the people around me.

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Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.