when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Can't seem to manage not throwing rocks into sea/river

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.