go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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I chew my ice cream.

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Laugh quietly to myself in public then cough to make the laugh seem like a it was a cough so people won't think I'm weird.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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wipe your hands on your pants

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When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

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whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.