When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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Dip my pizza crust in my soda

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.