Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....

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Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.