when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

The older I get the more honest I get

After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

Pee in a glass and pour it down the sink, if someone is using the bathroom already.

I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.