Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When i am bored i go on the internet and i dont know what to do but as soon as i turn off my computer i come up with lots of fun things i could have done

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Having an OCD moment when the number of questions on a test is not a multiple of 5. I mean, who puts 47 questions on a test?! Or 53? English and Math teachers rarely do this but it's always the Histoy ones...

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.