when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Pee in a glass and pour it down the sink, if someone is using the bathroom already.

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I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.