Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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Walking around near loud music and begin to feel like your walking to the beat.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Sometimes I stay as still as I can and stare at myself in the mirror until it scares me and I freak out about who I am and why I'm living. I have to think of my family and memories to snap out of it.

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Give your neighbors names from movies.

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.