When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

Breathe.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

When i'm eating M&Ms, I save one of each color until the end so I can eat them all at once.

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

try to find this website, but type in "thingsonlyyouthinkyoudo" or "thingsyouonlythinkyoudo" .. give up.. then google it instead.

Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.