Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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I piss in the bed every night

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/

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Your mom

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.