When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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speak proper english

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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log off the internet then think of something and go back on

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.