I put big spaces in between comments

thumb_up thumb_down -41

pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

thumb_up thumb_down -74

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I constantly talk to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +227

I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I push the door open with my stomach

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I chew around the center of carrots.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.