always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

i see almost everything as a sign

looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.