Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

Sometimes I toot.

In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

Sometimes when im lost in thought I twirl a piece of my bangs and stare off in a daze.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand

When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.