When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Breathe.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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When i'm eating M&Ms, I save one of each color until the end so I can eat them all at once.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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try to find this website, but type in "thingsonlyyouthinkyoudo" or "thingsyouonlythinkyoudo" .. give up.. then google it instead.

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.