When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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laziness .... its all in the mind

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Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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smoke marijuana

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.