Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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Teacher asks class a question, so I put my head down and pretend to take notes.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.