always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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i see almost everything as a sign

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.