When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled. -Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

thumb_up thumb_down -4

almost asleep and your body randomly jerks and scares you

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

thumb_up thumb_down +603

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Pee in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

thumb_up thumb_down -9

On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.