stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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I **** with no hands.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.